Wednesday, August 15, 2012

We Are Not in Control

It is certainly not unusual but I work with a person who seems to like to think he is in charge of maintaining order in his own personal life and with respect to events in his work life.  He seems most comfortable when things are going according to his plans and gets noticeably agitated when they do not.  I can certainly identify with his approach since I used to be that way.  Before recovery I was quite a bit more extreme in my desire to have events fit my plans.  During recovery I have experienced increasing faith and trust along with a decreasing desire for events to fit my plans.  At this point, I choose to believe that we are not in charge of much of anything.  That way I can live in the moment, without the stress of trying to control things and with maximal acceptance coupled with minimal expectations.  Desire to control still comes up periodically, which I find to be a somewhat amusing indication of my humanity.