Daily Practice

I do several hours of combined prayer, meditation, contemplation, reading and writing every day. I often do my contemplation during less demanding activities like exercising, weeding or cooking. I enjoy experiencing the God place or what Jesus called the Kingdom of God, which makes my disability or chronic pain tolerable. When in the God place my disability and pain either do not exist or have no significance. I recall the wise words of Thomas Kelly when he said "Life is meant to be lived from a Center, a divine Center ---- a life of unhurried peace and power. It is simple. It is serene. It takes no time, but it occupies all our time."

Peace

I did not find out about last night’s bombing of Syria until this morning. When I found out about it I was immediately disturbed since violence generally leads to more violence, not peace. A short time later I meditated, got into that loving God place and quickly realized that in an eternal/Godly sense, everything was just fine. During the day I have been reflecting on the word of Dubay, S.M. when he wrote "When one is anchored deeply in the divine solution to all problems, outer turmoil cannot disturb the inner tranquility. It is a peace that surpasses all understanding."

Spiritual Path

Just before my recovery meeting today a friend and fellow recovering person wanted another copy of my book, having loaned his copy to a friend, who now wanted his own copy. The whole interchange pleased me, since my book was helping them on their own spiritual paths. He then spoke passionately during the meeting about his relationships and what his path meant to him, commenting on the freedom that he found there. I could certainly identify, having gone through something similar. It was good to connect with a fellow traveler.

Compassion

Today I have been reading some of the early writings of some of the Friends (Quakers), particularly surrounding alcohol use but other issues as well. They obviously judged other people harshly and attempted to coerce them away from their use of intoxicants, distractions and frivolities. I also find fulfillment in a monastic lifestyle, largely without those intoxicants, distractions and frivolities but I also view others with compassion, realizing that we are all connected. I model myself according to the beautiful comments from Knowing Woman by Irene Claremont deCastillejo, many years ago; "In those rare moments when all the opposites meet within a man, good and also evil, light and also darkness, spirit and also body, brain and also heart, masculine focused consciousness and at the same time feminine diffuse awareness, wisdom of maturity and childlike wonder; when all are allowed and none displaces any other in the mind of a man, then that man, though he may utter no word is in an attitude of prayer. Whether he knows it or not his own receptive allowing will affect all those around him; rain will fall on the parched fields, and tears will turn bitter grief to flowering sorrow, while stricken children dry their eyes and laugh." Coercion and judgment do not fall within love.

Being Present

This was another regular day of just quietly doing the "next right thing", the simple task right in front of me. I exercised, went grocery shopping, meditated and worked on our gardens, a very contemplative activity. I was conscious of an internal voice that said I should be doing more. In the words of Kornfield, "When we let go of our battles and open our heart to things as they are, then we come to rest in the present moment This is the beginning and end of spiritual practice." He goes on to say, "As we stop the war, each of us will find something from which we have been running -- our loneliness, our unworthiness, our boredom, our shame, our unfulfilled desires." In my case it was impatience and a desire to be accomplishing more.

I'm a Dreamer

I am passionate about the power or force of love/God and the ability of that force to change the world. That force has changed my life and can certainly change others and as I say in my website "if enough people discover and live by what I attempt to describe here, things could change dramatically and on much more than a personal level." Unfortunately, I don’t know how to do that - yet. I am working on it. In the words of Sawhill "To attain excellence, you must care more than others think wise, risk more than others think safe and dream more than others think practical". Time to meditate!

Committment

I have always fond the words of W. H. Murray to be true, that "Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: ‘Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it./ Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.’" I committed myself to going west and being of service many years ago, with definite and clear movement of "Providence" to assist me. Now, having moved back east the same is happening. It’s good to be part of.

Growth

It was a strange day - but good and reflective of my progress. I found out that a flight I booked on the computer several weeks ago, with my wife’s help, did not work and they had no record of it. Rather than getting upset or angry, I realized that computers only understood yeses and noes or pluses and minuses and that one or more did not match up, so Maria called instead and set the flights up again. It took time and my phone (verbal communication) skills are not good but everything worked out. I asked for guidance, worked within my limits and sought help when needed.. Otherwise, it was a quiet, rainy, east coast kind of day - beautiful.

Fear

I moved back east after a period of learning in the west. During that period I learned and studied several spiritual traditions and now I wish to carry what I have learned to the east. I am here to be of service, to help out in dark times. On the one hand I know that, with God’s guidance, I have what it takes to do what is required. On the other hand I am afraid that I don’t. About five days ago I referred to it as "galloping fear", Williamson calls it "free floating" in her comments; "A lot of us know we have what it takes—the looks, the education, the talent, the credentials. But in certain areas, we’re paralyzed. We’re not being stopped by something on the outside, but by something on the inside. Our oppression is internal. The government isn’t holding us back, or hunger or poverty. We’re not afraid we’ll get sent to Siberia. We’re just afraid, period. Our fear is free-floating. We’re afraid this isn’t the right relationship or we’re afraid it is. We’re afraid they won’t like us or we’re afraid they will. We’re afraid of failure or we’re afraid of success. We’re afraid of dying young or we’re afraid of growing old. We’re more afraid of life than we are of death." I’m not being stopped but I am aware of the difficulty.

Detachment

I go through my daily activities from within a "bubble of love", a gift I have been given through living with my disability. It has taught me to ask for guidance, that I am not in charge and for the sake of my sanity, I need to detach from everything. The way my disability has taught me is through pain and discomfort when I don’t do those things and serenity if I do. Jack Kornfield put it well when he wrote "To love fully and live well requires us to recognize finally that we do not possess or own anything---our homes, our cars, our loved ones, not even our own body. Spiritual joy and wisdom do not come through possession but rather through our capacity to open, to love more fully, and to move and be free in life." He goes on to say "The happiness we discover in life is not about possessing or owning or even understanding. Instead, it is the discovery of this capacity to love, to have a loving, free and wise relationship with all of life. Such love is not possessive but arises out of a sense of our own well-being and connection with everything." I have found all of that to be very true.