Wednesday, December 12, 2018
"According to Thomas, Jesus says that this primordial light not only brought the entire universe into being but still shines through everything we see and touch." (Elaine Pagels). When I am meditating on the bank of the sea of Cortez in Mexico I can feel the ocean. It feels very powerful, full of life and Love. When I am doing a dawn ceremony in my backyard the way it feels varies a little with the seasons but I can always feel the vibrance of our big "guardian" tree and the other vegetation. They always feel love and gratitude for each other and the current season and weather conditions, whatever they are. There is always a feeling of presence. It is wonderful to be part of that.
Tuesday, December 11, 2018
In my work with spirits and my efforts to change the world, I wish to know more about what I am doing and to have more guidance as I proceed. I have asked for each in prayer and I have also made it clear that I would continue regardless and that whoever is guiding me knows best. I suspect I also need to give up more of my attachment to the world as I now know it. "To get we must also give, to advance we must also surrender, to gain we must lose, to attain we must resign. From the nature of things life means choice and selection, and every positive choice negates all other possibilities." (Rufus Jones)
Monday, December 10, 2018
A few days ago I spoke of facing life most days with gratitude and acceptance which then allows me to minimize the impact of any serious problems. This morning I felt disgruntled at the way things are and the challenges I deal with daily. Allowing myself to feel that way is an important part of loving myself as is letting the feeling pass. I felt disturbed for a while and now I am back to feeling grateful. "Allowing" is a fun way to face irrational complexities!
Sunday, December 9, 2018
This morning after the Friend’s Meeting for Worship Maria and I had some weighty or significant initial conversations with four people. I call the conversations weighty or significant because there was a definite connection with each of them and the "fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, trustfulness, gentleness and self-control) were present, meaning a divine presence. I can’t help wondering where the encounter will lead or why it was significant — and I suspect I’ll find out when the time is right. "Discernment is a gift from God, not as a personal achievement. The gift is not the result of training, technique, or analysis. Like other gifts of God, its origin is mysterious and gratuitous." (Patricia Loring)
Saturday, December 8, 2018
Today the main issue I am dealing with is learning to sleep on my back rather than my stomach and I need to remember the Buddhist comment "first the laundry, then the ecstacy". My shoulders and back do better and have less pain and strain if I sleep on my back. I also am just more peaceful in that orientation though it is not my preferred position. I am accustomed to dealing with issues that are more complex, esoteric and potentially far reaching. However, I also need to attend to the simple, straight forward matters as well. When I address the simple life issues that seem trivial, I am better equipped to do things I think important.
Friday, December 7, 2018
Recently I have had several examples in my life of what it’s like not to accept life the way it is and I realize that I would feel a lot worse if I did not approach my life with gratitude and acceptance. I need not like the limitations of getting older and being disabled but if I accept those limitations I can work with them and minimize there impact on me. Fighting with them only results in my feeling worse. I can also always be grateful. Today I can be grateful for being largely free of pain but even on days when I have pain I can be grateful that my condition is not worse. I am reminded of the Buddhist comment that "pain is inevitable, suffering is optional".
Wednesday, December 5, 2018
When I began my recovery back in 1985 I was thirty-six and still using behaviors I had learned as a child growing up in an abusive alcoholic home. Those behaviors included things like perfectionism, hyper-vigilance about what others thought of me and self-hatred. Behaviors which had originally begun as survival tools and which I had melded into my lifestyle but which no longer served me well since they caused anxiety. I began attending recovery meetings in order to change those behaviors, realizing that change would require courage since part of me still believed that those behaviors were a necessary part of survival. I am very grateful that through the love and support of many people I found the necessary "courage to change" and today need to recall how difficult that was, as I assist others in the process.
Tuesday, December 4, 2018
I have been reading Marcelle Martin’s Our Life is Love: The Quaker Spiritual Journey. In the chapter I am reading now she describes the simple life of the faithful and I find that she is describing much of the life I lead. I choose this type of life because it fits me, not because of some sort of adherence to the way of faith. We have many pieces of very simple and basic hand made antique furniture which I bought at auctions (cheaply!) And refinished. Most of those pieces have been ugly and are now beautiful but scared a bit and showing some road marks, reminding me of the owner. I am very grateful to be leading a life of love.
Monday, December 3, 2018
My wife commented today that I had more challenges up ahead in response to my saying that my work with the spirits had been one of support and encouragement for the last few days and relatively easy. It’s true that I am clearly not done and that there is much to do for the world to become a loving, spiritual place of being. I feel a strong need to be open and listen. "It requires even more discernment to discover whether the ministry called for from a particular individual in a particular instance requires prophetic speech, humble and hidden activities, bold and dramatic action, professional service or some, novel and previously unimagined course." (Patricia Loring)
Sunday, December 2, 2018
Tonight during meditation I began by focusing on the feeling of unconditional love, then enlarged the scope to include "being" as opposed to doing and having. After blasting the spirits and everything around me with healing, Loving energy I sent them the message of being and urged them to "pass it on". That all felt very good and solid, in a fluid sort of way! With all the talk and advertisements about black Friday and the daily emphasis on "doing" our jobs, I urge balance. "To attain excellence, you must care more than others think wise, risk more than others think safe and dream more than others think practical".