My Process

I get up and begin my normal nightly activities some time after midnight. After drinking my harmonizing tea and writing in my journal I go downstairs for an extended period of prayer and meditation in the dark, quiet and peace of the night. Once there and comfortable I fill myself with the loving feeling of the Absolute. I allow my normal mind chatter for a while and then empty my head of it so I can listen for guidance or, recently, spirit communication. My normal mind chatter usually consists of things like what I will do tomorrow, obligations, what I will cook at some time in the future or some other concern that takes me out of the present. I allow it in order to determine if there is something important, something I should pay attention to. I clear my head of the mind chatter by focusing on the in-and-out of my own breathing so I can truly listen for any comments, questions or concerns of the spirits.

Love

I lead a life based on Love and service to others and this planet, service guided by that Love or God, its source. There is power there. Not the false power of the CEO or corporate president, but true power, the ability to influence through love not fear. That Love has completely changed my life and my commitment to it is total. Christ and his impact on this world is a good example of that power; "Christ’s way of propagating the truth------the way that inherently fits the inner life and spirit of the gospel of the Kingdom-----was the way of personal contagion." (Jones).

Exception

I am an "exception", in that the course of my neurological symptoms and life in general are out of the ordinary, not normal. It’s true that my situation, by itself, is anecdotal and not proof of anything but my condition also provides some information that could be useful for personal growth or research direction. While I was approaching my Ph.D. one of my professors said to "treasure your exceptions" since that is where the learning is. The focus of my life is love, health, healing and being of service. I employ the practices outlined in my book and have encountered a great deal of positive, loving energy - a force which I call God that is very real and available to anyone who is willing to do the work.

Understanding Is Not Required

I was listening to the old Peter, Paul and Mary song "Day is Done" today, while exercising. In the last verse of the song the child is smiling about his future, because he really knows that everything will be lovely and fine. I too know that everything for this planet and the people on it will be just fine - I don’t know what that looks like, which matters little. I feel that truth and know it very strongly, just like that child. That knowledge flies in the face of all reason since I also realize what we are doing to this planet and each other, but then "understanding is not required".

Balance

As Peck says "Life is difficult". I have to push myself and work hard every day just to be a functional human. Exercise is important but, in my case, because of my disability, the muscles do not operate smoothly like they used to so exercising is difficult, requiring focus. I tire easily but keep going, within limits. Of course, if I push myself too hard I regret it. Determining the right level of exercise requires balance which starts with my body and listening to it. I have both overshot and undershot the balance point and now do pretty well. It has been a learning process and keeps shifting.

Loving Action

Today I felt and took part in a strong loving connection with all things and all people - it was wonderful. I felt like a dynamo of love, an energy source - like many things of this nature exhilarating and exhausting. I am very aware that love grows and spreads and I have hopes for consequences. Part of this was my ongoing work with the local spirits and I told them to go out and influence living people in a loving way. I show them what love feels like and suggest they pass it on. I keep reading about the current political situation and desires to change it and keep thinking "we need action not more words".

Choices

Politically, I would like to see more positive choices made, choices that "increase the integrity of the universe", to use a quote from my book. It does not make any difference to me if the choices are republican or democrat, only that they are oriented toward the long term good of all the people. I believe the words of Rufus Jones when he said "From the nature of things life means choice and selection, and every positive choice negates all other possibilities." So, if we begin to make positive choices and continue it will put an end to racism, elitism and environmental degradation.

Power of Love

I was shown many years ago that I could fill myself with a loving feeling, confront any "demonic" or negative forces within myself and then make them leave me alone by simply telling them to leave. It worked like magic though I could never fit the process into my logical thinking (like I say in my book "understanding is not required"). Last night I was able to do the same thing with a group of spirits. This process then frees up the energy so that the same energy can be used in me or them for positive growth. In the words of John Yungblut "It is not that the demonic forces within the unconscious are not capable of destruction and disintegration. It is rather that within the mystery of the conjunction of opposites their sting can be drawn, their poison drained, and their very energy harnessed to realize a more profound individuation."

Paradox

Because of today’s recovery meeting and my own reading I have been aware of and contemplating the numerous paradoxes in my life. In my recovery meeting, as often happens, "surrender to win" was implied several times. The other paradoxes in my life are summarized nicely by the words of Rufus Jones when he wrote "To get we must also give, to advance we must also surrender, to gain we must lose, to attain we must resign. From the nature of things life means choice and selection, and every positive choice negates all other possibilities." For me the largest and most difficult paradox was/is that in order for me to become my true Self I have to give up the worldly demands of my ego self or in his words "To become a person one must both affirm and deny himself. One involves the other."

Acceptance

I fully accept the limitations imposed on me by my disability and, at the same time, do everything I know to do to reduce or eliminate those limitations. I accept it but do not like it and try to make it go away. Seeking to alleviate the pain and discomfort of my disability has forced me to meditate more and have a much better connection with God/love. It is only through that connection and then filling my life with being of service that I find relief. In the words of Seeger "It [inner silence] is to establish an inner peace, an inner harmony, which will allow us authentically to contribute to the establishment of an outer peace and an outer harmony in the world at large."