Eternal View

I have been reading the paper (minimally since most of what goes on is none of my business) and experiencing the passing ups and downs of life. I am very aware that people are wrapped up in their distractions, that many people are harming themselves and each other and that we are harming this planet, our home, for short term gain. I am also aware that the problems I just mentioned are part of the growth process and very short in duration. I can feel and know the ultimate reality of love and that everything is perfect in its imperfection. "Love is the only absolute reality, which never changes and never dies. Dwelling in that which does not change, while things around us are changing all the time, is our key to inner peace." (Williamson)

Connection

Using a liquid fertilizer that I pour over each plant, I have been going around our property fertilizing the plants, which gives me a wonderful opportunity to connect with each of them - magical and requiring inner silence on my part. Maria has commented several times that when I connect with people they get this "silly grin" expressing their pleasure and love. My sense is that the plants do the same thing, in a plant way - if I listen. It’ a wonderful experience! "intuition is a deep form of listening that when trusted can return us to the common, irrepressible element at the center of all life and to the Oneness of things that surround us"

Holistic Health

Through my own use of silence, silent meditation and contemplation, I have realized that for my own clarity of understanding I need to view the approach of my neurologist through the lense of compassion, understanding and love. If I do that I realize that he is viewing my situation through the eyes of logic, knowledge and reasoning, the way he was taught. In my case I have been using various techniques like, unconditional love, visualization and meditation for years with my disability (cerebellar degeneration) so simple reasoning is not enough. Logic, knowledge and reasoning are wonderful, but also limited in their scope. In the words of Seeger "To understand better the value of silence in daily life, and its relation to this spiritual transformation for which we yearn, it is useful first to consider the limitation of language, of words....It is next useful to contemplate the limitations of logical reasoning." The techniques I have been using have transformed me in a way which is not encompassed by reason.

Discernment

As I have mentioned I am an exceptional case in that I have not followed the typical prognosis for my condition and, for that reason, I present a challenge to conventional beliefs. I recently went to a new neurologist who was puzzled and a bit defensive about my situation, calling for more testing and referring me to another physician for consultation. His position is understandable, given the complexity of my situation. My role is to integrate and understand his point of view, deciding on the best course of action. I have to discern the best course of action for myself, a difficult task, and one that requires meditation, contemplation and clarity. "To undertake to live a discerned life, to endeavor daily to be attuned to authentic movements of the Spirit leading us into greater fullness of life, is a strenuous undertaking." (Loring)

Exception 2

As I commented a little less than a month ago, I am an "exception", physically, in that my present condition does not match my expected prognosis. I went to a new (for me) neurologist today who performed a variety of tests on my reflexes, strength, relaxation ability and muscular motor ability. He is not sure of a diagnosis since my results do not match any specific problem so he referred me to another neurologist for consultation and wants to do further testing. I will cooperate and I would also like him to realize that the unconditional love, relaxation, exercise, meditation and other practices have a genuine, measurable impact. I would like hin to start with my condition and learn from it rather than trying to fit my condition into his current thinking. It is clear to me that practices like unconditional love, relaxation and meditation have an impact on health.

Lesson

Today our bird feeding station was invaded and taken over by a flock of about thirty common grackles. They are large and aggressive birds so they kept our regular attendees from feeding. I noted that when I chased them away and they immediately came back that I became angry, a feeling I do not like. On the other hand, when I watched Maria, my wife, try to chase them away with exactly the same results, I felt fondness, amusement and understanding, feelings I much prefer. I notice the same pattern in my driving and other life activities. I am clearly better off not even participating in certain behaviors, particularly efforts o change something that will not change.

My Process

I get out of bed in the middle of the night, between midnight and 1:00 A,M., in order to pray and meditate, do some spiritual writing and reading. I generally return to bed around 3:00 or 4:00. That is when I write in this Blog, when I wrote most of my book and answer e-mails. That is the time when my connection to God/love is strongest and when there are fewer distractions. I never set my alarm - it just happens and is my favorite time of day. "When a peaceful silence lay over all, and the night had run half of her swift course, down from the heavens, from the royal throne, leapt your all powerful word." (book of Wisdom 18:14, 15)

Awareness

I am extremely grateful and astonished to find the feeling of peace, well being and unconditional love in everything I do and everywhere I turn. I realize now that the feeling was there all the time I just had to search and acknowledge. According to the gospels, when his disciples asked Jesus about the kingdom of God he said "What you look forward to has already come, but you do not recognize it." He also said "The kingdom of God is not coming with signs that can be observed, nor will they say; ‘Look here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ for the kingdom of God is within you."

Meditation

During my meditation rather than focusing on my breathing in order to bring myself into the simplicity of the moment I focus on generating the feeling of love or spirit while also concentrating on the present. I begin the loving feeling with thoughts and images when the feeling of love was the strongest, even thinking of puppies and babies, then, using focus and intent, have the feeling grow. As with using my breath my mind tends to drift away and I then just bring it back without judgment. That feeling impacts everything that happens next, during meditation or the rest of the day.

Love

I have been asked by the spirits I work with to come up with some rules of conduct to live by. I came up with rules that reflect my understanding of the love I encounter when I meditate on the God/Love place. They are: 1. Love your brother as yourself.; 2. Love everybody and everything.; 3. Do not judge.; 4. Do not criticize.; 5. Never condemn. The guidance which is generally promoted in religion usually involves judgment, criticism and some form of condemnation, sometimes extreme. Judgment, criticism and condemnation are very human and ego driven, not from God/Love. I have been pleased to find that the love, understanding and compassion that Jesus taught includes the human tendencies toward judgment, criticism and condemnation.