Unseen Realm

I spend a good deal of my time operating within, what I call, the unseen realm of spirits, energies and spiritual beliefs and I enjoy realizing that it could be totally imaginary on my part but I also choose to believe it due to the results.  My first conscious encounter with this sort of thing came when one of my Arizona clients called me in a panic from California where she was visiting.  Her daughter, who had been traumatized when she was much younger, had disassociated and was non-communicative.  The mother hoped I could help the little girl so I went into a trance and met with the girls spirit in order to comfort and reassure her and then bring her back.  The girl did in fact return to being communicative and commented upon her return that she “had been with Charlie”.  For the past few nights I have been working remotely with spirit of a woman who is a few miles away in order to introduce her “higher self” to the spirit world.  Her behavior has changed suggesting that what I am doing is working — but then, I never know for sure!

Holistic Healing

As far as the self-healing of my disability and related health issues I notice that yesterday I mowed the front lawn in 11/2 hours instead of the 2 it has taken in the past and that just generally my wife has commented that I am moving faster, both indicating that my balance has improved.  For the first time in a decade I no longer have open sores in my mouth and I have eaten salads for lunch both indicating improved jaw coordination.  My speech has also improved according to my own observation and comments by several people.  These are all positive changes and are likely caused by the self-healing I have described before.  It is useful for me to note and be aware of the fact that I resist change of any kind, desirable or not.  If I stay aware of the resistence I can counter it.

Perspective

During the last day I have been reflecting on the balance or harmony I wrote of yesterday and I have become more aware that I have a distinct tendency to view only one side of a situation as desirable and one side not when, in fact, they are both part of the whole and can both be appreciated..  For example, when I think of love I tend to think only of that pleasant feeling I get when watching a small child, while complete and unconditional love actually includes the total spectrum, pleasant and unpleasant, of feelings.  Love is like white light in that the light actually includes all colors.  That same pattern applies to many things and I will be more conscious of gratitude for the whole picture.

Harmony

This morning I went out to check on the catbird nest in our front yard and found the nest disrupted with the female and the eggs missing — not what I anticipated but a good lesson on harmony for me.  Looking at the big or long term picture nature and natural systems provide a very fine example of balance and harmony.  I can sense the harmony when I am with nature and I am very grateful for it.  That harmony is beautiful to see and feel but it also means that many of  the cute little birds of the season end up dying and becoming food for something else.  That death is part of the beauty.  During my life (I am 71!) there have been many things that did not go as planed which was part of their beauty and I am grateful,

Love

Right now, with the pandemic, questionable leadership, the economic losses and the race riots, this country is in turmoil and I keep thinking that it will take something like the three questions I talk about in my book to straighten things out.  (The three questions are: Would I do this in front of God (or whatever you call the power or force behind the Universe), Is my name really on it (or is it really my responsibility), Will this increase the integrity of the universe (or is this action motivated by love, rather than fear, acting out of love always increases the integrity of the universe).  Love is the solution, anger, criticism and protests are not.  Before recovery I was an angry, hurt, narcissistic  and antisocial person.  I had heard various judgments, criticisms and instructions which did not stop me.  Love did and I became a different person.

Holistic Healing and Gratitude

Maintaining an attitude of gratitude is very important for me to continue to be functional and, so far, within this physically difficult life, I have always been able to find things to be grateful for, Yesterday I was looking over some of my writings about learning to relax my jaw a bit over a decade ago.  I had forgotten how difficult that process was and I had two doctors to tell me that it was not possible.  As it was, it took me deep focus, meditation, six months of using Botox and several months to accomplish.  During that process I was grateful I could do it at all and I am still not sure where the ability came from.  Yesterday, when I read that, I felt grateful that my jaw was relaxed most of the time now and that I had learned to coordinate my jaw activities, though I am not done with that part yet since eating and speaking are still a challenge.

Change

Everything keeps changing and I cannot say that I am totally comfortable with that, though I can watch the river of life flow around me and allow myself to flow with it, ever reminding myself that it’s best not to hold on or attach to anything.  Being with, supporting and connecting with my mother-in-law is a good example.  She was recovering nicely from a recent fall and then fell again.  My tendency was to think that falling again and going to the hospital was a blip in her recovery.  However when she went to the hospital they found she had a very low and unstable heart rate, necessitating the surgical implantation of a pacemaker.  That discovery will improve her health and recovery.  There is a river flowing now very fast.  It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.  They will try to hold onto the shore.  They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.  Know the river has its destination.  (Hopi prophesy)

Honesty

In order to see “things as they are” and “rest in the present moment” I need to acknowledge that in spite of my efforts to be balanced, I overdid things yesterday and paid the price with muscle spasms and disturbed sleep last night.  I feel the need to admit that in spite of the fine words I wrote yesterday — I still have work to do!  I’m not blaming or chastising myself in any way, I simply feel that loving honesty helps me be at peace,  "When we let go of our battles and open our heart to things as they are, then we come to rest in the present moment  This is the beginning and end of spiritual practice." (Jack Kornfield)

Balance

I find that a balanced approach to living is something I still need to consciously think of and that the balanced approach to any activity will not feel as natural and comfortable as an all-or
-nothing, black-and-white approach.  For example today I will do some exercise rather than my full two hour workout.  I will cut up some chicken and vegetables in preparation for making soup tomorrow rather than exhausting myself by making the soup all at once.  Similarly, I will do some garden work rather than exhausting myself and doing more.  I will also do some resting and meditating (balance) while if I did not take that time I could certainly get more done (unbalanced).  "Sooner or later we have to learn to let go and allow the changing mystery of life to move through us without our fearing it, without holding and grasping." (Kornfield)

Patience

Last night and this morning I have been watching my own conflicting thoughts and feelings concerning my level of patience with my recovery process.  I have also been chuckling with that loving parental attitude of a parent watching a silly but growing child.  When I began focusing healing energy on my disability I was reminded by the powers that be, that it took me five years to progress from needing crutches to using a cane — so if I was going to approach my disability I would need patience.  Right now I do not know what the outcome will be and I do not know a time scale.  I am good with that and quite content to know it will take a while.  I also note that any change in my abilities produces fear because it is a change and I do not know where it will lead.  I feel impatient because it’s taking so long and gratitude that it is happening at all.  So I have conflicting feelings and I need to keep in mind that feelings are not rational — and chuckle.