Saturday, January 26, 2013

Inner Light

I have been reading about and contemplating the “inner light” that comes with a strong connection to God, or whatever you wish to call that power/force/entity.  I have experienced a very strong sensation of a glowing, warm and radiating feeling which certainly feels like strong sunlight.  Another sensation that I get fairly consistently, especially when feeling connected is that the trees, vegetation, rocks and earth in general seem quite noticeably vibrant, alive and bright.  Additionally, while in the complete darkness of the lodge and I open my eyes, things seem extremely bright and totally dark at the same time, a strange paradox.  I can encompass none of this with my intellect, a fact that I find delightful.  Understanding is not required!

Tonight in the lodge I noticed, once again, the extreme brightness.  I also looked around and could see no-one at all, though there were nine others in the lodge with me.  I also held my hand in front of my face and could not see it, the visible darkness continued.  It was a strange combination of sensations.  The feeling of brightness is quite real, to me, and it feels the same to the body as does visible light, even the warmth and comfort that generally comes with sunlight.  However, it is obviously not the same as visible light.  I also felt  very strong gratitude and a very good connection to God.  It was a good lodge.

Grief and Loss

At my recovery meeting tonight the topic was grief and loss, with the main driving force of the grief being the death of a loved one.  As I shared tonight, when a person dies they go to a place of increased consciousness, surrounded by feelings of love, peace and compassion, a pleasant shift from the mundane world.  I did not say it exactly this way, but the process of grief is for the living, the ones left behind.  The ones left behind are the ones who experience loss and go through the grief process.  For me, my main challenge is to not let my intellect interfere and just let the feelings flow.