Saturday, March 28, 2015


I need to stay humble, act out of love and remember that I am not in charge.  I have a tendency to think that I know what is best for other people and also to have grandiose ideas about myself.  Neither of those tendencies work for me.  As a mental health therapist, I am in a position where I am frequently asked about what the best path is for my clients.  I have specialized training that some think, prepares me to make such decisions.  I can and do offer guidance, but I also make it clear that I do not know.

Friday, March 27, 2015


In meditating and contemplating on what I wrote yesterday, I realize that either masculine focused consciousness or feminine diffuse awareness by themselves can be problematic.  They can also work well by themselves in some circumstances. Feminine diffuse awareness combined with the logic of masculine focused consciousness it is generally very productive, alone it can lead to superstition and fantasy.  Masculine focused consciousness by itself can be dry, unimaginative and lifeless.

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Diffuse Awareness

Today I have been reflecting a lot on what deCastillejo calls feminine diffuse awareness, which I make extensive use of daily.  As she says "I cannot stress to strongly that matriarchal consciousness or diffuse awareness is not identical with the formless chaos of the unconscious.  It is emphatically not unconscious.  Its difference in quality from masculine focused consciousness with which we are all familiar, lies in its whole unbroken state which defies scientific analysis and logical deduction, and is therefore not possible to formulate in clear unambiguous terms."  It's hard to define or pin down any exact concept for feminine diffuse awareness, which is precisely the point.  It includes things like intuition, knowing, sensing, truth and feeling.  Combined with the logic of masculine focused consciousness it is good, without it can lead to superstition and fantasy.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Decisions Based on Love

Love is simple, selfless and always “promotes the integrity of the universe” and, as Shepherd Hoodwin also states "Love has a quality you can learn to discern.  It 'feels right'.  It is truthful and inclusive.  There is no objective measurement to confirm that you are experiencing love.  You can only trust your intuition and do your best.  If you do, your capacity to discern love will grow.  We are all learning this skill."  The problem comes in that a person has to put various ego interests like, financial gain, being right or being in control, aside, if one is to make a decision based on love.  Like he says, we are learning to do that.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Acceptance & Love

Whether we talk about fracking, decisions on immigration, use of killer whales for financial gain, limiting funding for education or a variety of other topics, it is obvious that the people in charge are not making decisions based on love, connectedness and inclusiveness.  The main driving forces behind their decisions and actions are capital gain, ego and short-term benefit, very fear-based.  On the one hand, their decisions simply reflect their status emotionally and spiritually and I accept that.  On the other hand, I will do everything I can to promote change.

Monday, March 23, 2015


As the song says “I play my piano & sing my little song” (Ray Stevens), meaning I do the best I can, as a limited human.  Every morning I tap into eternity & God, things that are beyond my understanding, though I try.  The love and guidance that I find there is something I believe I need to survive.  I was led to that place through the threat of death, pain and desperation.  At times, I wonder if I am deluding myself, but I cannot argue with the results.  I will simply continue.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Nourishing the Love or God Seed

I notice in me that I really have a choice each day of either nourishing my fear-based, disgruntled, projecting side versus my love-based, present, peaceful side.  My choice is often determined by the way I start my day.  If I start my day with a period of prayer and meditation, focusing on peace and love, then I am not consumed with worry about the day-to-day events or news reports.  I simply do my best and take note of the world around me without fretting about it.  My actions don’t necessarily change but my attitude and the way I feel does.