Saturday, April 27, 2013
Over the last couple of days I have been blessed to connect with and guide others along their spiritual journeys, a process that I have a deep respect for. I am honored to be in a position to provide such guidance and I make use of a lot of my own guidance and support while performing as a conduit for them. The people that I worked with are all at different points in their individual spiritual/emotional paths, one is just beginning, two are at relatively enjoyable parts, having just passed through some difficult times and one is totally miserable. They are all doing exceptionally well. The human part of me would like them all to have a peaceful and serene journey, the God part of me sees their wonderful progress, including their discomfort and feels a tremendous amount of love and overwhelming respect for each of them. I am reminded that, at times, the spiritual path is neither easy nor particularly enjoyable, but, ultimately, extremely fulfilling.
Friday, April 26, 2013
I have been blessed several times to either be close to death myself or be with someone who was close to death. At those times people tend to stop thinking about material possessions or “money power and prestige” and turn, instead, to love, faith and connection, a beautiful thing. A person who is dying just wants to be with you and know you care. It is as if they know that love and connection have eternal significance and some importance. Various mystics, saints and other spiritual people through the ages have realized similar things. I have found small children, who are also closer to the Source, to be much the same.
I should clarify that when I speak of love, I am not talking about the codependent type of love that is often depicted in movies, soap operas or country music. I am referring to the selfless, truly unconditional love that radiates from God, or whatever you wish to call it.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
There was a clinical staff meeting today at the place where I get most of my referrals, which included me and the two other primary therapists. One of the main topics was the intake process, which typically I conduct, based on very limited background information gleaned from the program’s application form. It was suggested that we gather more information, through a phone interview, prior to the actual admission of a new resident/client. I made it clear that I believed that we should have the additional information, that I endorsed the idea of a phone interview, but that I would not do it. It was then decided that one of the other therapists would make the necessary phone contacts and the intake decisions. Since the intake decisions were being shifted from me to another therapist, I was asked several times if I objected to the shift. Each time I was asked if I objected, I tried to make it clear that I did not. I consider such a shift to be relatively trivial and it is, after all, just a job. In my view, getting disturbed about it would just be a waste of time and energy. Life is too short and wondrous to do that!
In connection with the attitude I express above, I read about twenty years ago that “nothing matters very much, and very few things matter at all”. This situation falls in the latter category. My ego and I struggled with this concept for years, and I now see the wisdom in it.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Today just felt like a regular, routine sort of a day, no external adversities to overcome or personal problems to work through. A day like today makes it clear to me that usually I feel like I have something to overcome, some sort of a hill to climb. I was surprised and pleased at the efficiency of having some medical tests on my thyroid (normal) done, in and out in under fifteen minutes. A bit later, I met with a close friend and had a good period of love and connection. There were several very pleasant interactions with Maria during the day and, significantly, I had no pain to speak of. The day just felt very pleasant!
One topic that came up during my meeting with my friend was “spiritual materialism”, the tendency to attach to some sort of spiritual principle, use it to promote oneself, with the effect of blocking or impeding further growth. We each acknowledged how easy it was to fall into that trap, as I have done in the past. I enjoy being “the world’s greatest expert” and find it hard to recognize that I am actually hurting myself. It is a trap that is very attractive to the ego and the opposite of humility and openness.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
As frequently happens when something throws me off balance a bit, I keep slipping back into fear, even though I continue to do all the things I do to stay balanced. In this case, it was my diarrhea and general malaise that threw me off balance and my fear is that my physical condition is getting worse. I have no indication (other than a vivid imagination!) that my physical condition is worsening, though that is expected, according to the doctors. I even know my fear to be illusory. My problems are real, the fear is not. It is also clear to me that when I ask the universe/God for help in dealing with my condition, I get it and that overall I will continue to be just fine, whatever that means.
Tonight the recovery meeting, not surprisingly, was about the many forms that fears take and how fears tend to run our lives, at times. I was reminded of how various fears use to run my life and I had a feeling of gratitude that those fears are now just whispers and that they have been replaced by love and faith.
Monday, April 22, 2013
Today, I kept thinking back on something Margaret Mead once said, that “As I understand contemporary trends of physical science, there is increasing recognition of vast unknown areas which science may explore and assist in ordering, but to which it may never provide anything like complete answers.” What I and various others refer to as the “Absolute” is part of that “vast unknown”. It is a part of my reality that I explore daily and a source of power that can change lives. To know of, and having experienced, the absolute is a rare gift, a gift that I need to keep in my daily awareness.
We live in a world of duality. We understand pleasant because there is unpleasant, night because of day, etc. It is hard to understand, but in the absolute there is no dichotomy of anything, no different sexes, separateness, race or social standing (as in John Lenon’s song “Imagine”). There are souls of all things and there is the source, love/God. These souls are entities in themselves and part of the source at the same time. There is no individuality, as we know it since there is no separateness. There is no forgiveness since there is nothing to forgive. All are a part of an intense feeling of love and connection to all. There are differences in souls, depending on their stages of growth. There is total perfection at the same time. There is no contradiction in this situation. Things just are.
Sunday, April 21, 2013
Today, I observed one of my close friends interacting with his profoundly disabled daughter, a young woman who is an infant, cognitively. I found the interaction to be very moving. Her face showed the simple joy of being with her father and playing with the toys she had with her, a joy that was not complicated by the “complexities of consciousness, language, ethics, treachery, revulsion, reason, religion, premeditation or free will” (Lance Morrow, Time magazine, 1988). Her father’s face also showed the joy of love and connection, though his look was more complex, due to adult/parental concerns. Their obvious connection also had an impact on others that were present. I felt a warmth and gratitude for the power and existence of love and connection. To me, that symbolized a large part of what my recovery is about. In the past, I would have been too distracted by the things I considered important to notice.
I also know of her problem times and her crying out in pain. Both feelings are very much a part of her and his life. I can readily identify with the joy and the problem times, though my disability is not nearly as severe. I have experienced both feelings, occasionally at the same time.