Saturday, October 17, 2015
We had a meeting of our writing/spirituality group at the Friend’s meeting house today. At the meeting there was a great deal of talk about the sweat lodge we used to have on our property. That lodge was a major part of our lives for about fifteen years and during that time the experiences around the lodge and associated spirits taught me a great deal about unconditional love and healing. Taking down that lodge and moving on was difficult and necessary. I suspect it will be time for another lodge soon. I need not totally understand the process but moving on and letting go is an important part of growth.
Friday, October 16, 2015
The other day I attended a staff meeting at the place that gives me most of the referrals I work with. During the meeting my conclusions and observations concerning one of my clients were questioned. I did not say anything, other than indicating that they were valid questions. However, inside I was on the attack, questioning the importance of the questions, thinking “how dare they” and judging them harshly. I am not the person I would like to be, yet, but at least I remained quiet.
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
My body seems to know that changes are approaching in my life. My body feels like it is standing on shifting sands, a feeling that could be exciting but right now I just feel uneasy. I suspect that my unconscious mind knows what is going on, while my conscious mind does not. I have attempted to find out through meditation and I do get the sense that my book is at the center of the change, but other than that I just get a strong feeling that the “universe is unfolding as it should”, a very reassuring feeling.
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
In my recovery meeting tonight the question came up of how we maintain our resolve or intent. I realized that my main tool for maintaining my resolve is that I don’t participate in behaviors that pull me away or compromise that resolve. I lead a very spiritually focused life of peace, love, connectedness and compassion, which I really like. I can’t say that I resolve or have resolved to lead that sort of life, I just realize what I need to do and then do it. Meaning I stay detached from unnecessary personal drama, choose to not own a TV or listen to much radio and practice a lot of prayer and meditation.
Monday, October 12, 2015
This morning I was walking from my car to the Sunday morning Friend’s (Quaker) meeting and I paused to feel the light cool fall breeze, smell the Fern bush and feel the warm Flagstaff (7,000 ft. altitude) sun. I felt a lot of gratitude for the moment. It’s not that I do not have physical challenges, I do, but even they could be and have been a lot worse. It has been a quiet day of gratitude, paying a few bills, exercise, cooking and interacting with others, primarily, Maria, my wife.
Sunday, October 11, 2015
For some reason, which I am still not totally clear of, I felt off kilter or off balance for much of the day today. Nothing particular happened to throw me off, though I have been stirred up over the requirements of book promotion lately. For today my response was to have a lot of alone time in order to meditate and sort things out. I noted some tendency to find a distraction like facebook so that I did not have to simply feel the discomfort. Self-care requires that I be present for myself.