Saturday, December 27, 2014
I find that I no longer identify with most of the things that other people seem to consider important. I feel a strong love for everyone and realize that we humans are fairly silly, and not nearly as gifted or special as we think we are. My point of view makes it difficult or impossible to be angry at anyone, sort of like it being difficult to be angry at a cute, lovable puppy. I also realize that most of the life events, that used to seem important, actually mean next to nothing. I tend to find much of life engaging and somewhat amusing.
Friday, December 26, 2014
On my doctor’s recommendation, I checked out her website and particularly the “wellness” section, which contained numerous suggestions about maintaining a healthy life style. Things like diet, exercise, minimizing the risk of heart problems and various types of self-examination. I realized that I do all of the things that were recommended plus a great deal more. The great deal more that I do includes attitudinal healing, visualization and hands-on healing or healing touch; basically, things that I have found to be helpful, but that are not linear, logical, scientific or evidence based, though all are supported by anecdotal evidence. It is my experience that a great deal of health and healing falls outside of the relatively simplistic, scientific model or paradigm.
Thursday, December 25, 2014
This was a day of extreme gratitude. I have to admit that the conditions in my life are less than ideal, but the thought and reality that keeps occurring to me is that “things could be a lot worse”. In fact, conditions in my life were a lot worse not many years ago. On the one hand, I have a few “Cadillac” problems like my concerns over publication of a book I just finished, a roof that has some problems, or the fact that I am disabled. On the other hand I just had a good meal, have a warm bed and am very healthy other than my disability. I also have a strong spiritual connection and spend each day walking and acting with love; pretty good!
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
The theme for the day was “attachment”. I spoke of attachments at length with another recovering person, focusing, in part, on the fact that any attachment, any emotional involvement, clouds our view of day to day events. Attachments prevent us from being aware and awake, but they certainly add to the drama! Attachments also prevent us from being free to float down the river without grasping. I then talked with my wife, Maria, about the fact that our roof is going to require some expensive work, uncovering her attachment to the money. I could feel myself getting drawn in to the worry but the fact is that we still have our relationship, our love and the loss of some money will not change that.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
At my recovery meeting tonight, as sometimes happens, a fellow spoke at some length who had thirty years in recovery. He spoke for a long time and had the tone that he knew what the answers were for other people in recovery. I, also, have been in recovery for many years and because of my recovery program and numerous other sources, I have learned many things. I see the world quite differently than I used to and one of the things that I now realize is that I know next to nothing about what is really going on in the world around me. I know enough to know that I know very little.
Monday, December 22, 2014
Once again the reading at the friends meeting I attend was “simplicity” or the simplicity of love. My comment this morning was that we humans are a bit silly in that we complicate it with all sorts of thinking. For example, my birth family, as well as many others, equated love with material possessions, and, to some extent, they believed, it was possible to show love through costly gifts. We can also complicate love with emotions such as grief or co-dependence. Love is simple and real. These things exist outside of love.
Sunday, December 21, 2014
Today, I really enjoyed the feeling of being groundless, awake, aware, some would say “enlightened”. Some days, the intensity of that feeling is hard to take, similar in feeling to an intensely sunny day at this altitude (7,000 feet). The fear associated with publishing my book has passed for now and I enjoyed connecting and interacting with several recovering people today. One of the topics that came up in the groups I led today was “pride” and I have to admit that I am proud of what I do and who I am. I also have to admit that it took a while to get here.