Discovery

  Tonight my wife was getting rid of some camping equipment we no longer use and I was reminded that before I became disabled we used to go  backpack camping.  I thought of those times fondly but was then reminded by my wife that we were always searching for something.  I wanted a feeling of completion, peace and love which I approached when I was in something like wilderness.  I never quite found that, even when my wife and I spent our honeymoon backpacking in Alaska.  I am now disabled and quite a bit older.  One of the gifts of my disability is that I can’t do much.  I am forced to sit and meditate and in so doing have found what I was looking for I also now realize it was all around me all that time.  All I had to do was sit quietly, be of service and give that gift to others.  “Few things — no things that I know of — are so completely and effectively restorative as the discovery that this World of the environing Spirit is verily closer to us than breathing and is charged with the resources of Life for which we pant.”(Rufus Jones)

Sigh

  I was just reading some of my previous journal entries and what stood out to me was my comment that “simply being “Charlie” for a day is a workout for me” and today I feel that.  I can also look back at all the “gifts” I have been given.  This evening I have some pain, muscle aches and simple tiredness.  Today I have also felt God, love, eternity and the living, loving energy of the earth.  It’s important for me to remember that both are true and I cannot have one without the other.  My life continues and it’s time for bed and then getting up in the middle of the night to pray and meditate!

Choice

  There is no doubt that humans have an angry/fear based/aggressive side which  is liberally “fed” by activities such as most news programs, reports of severe weather or even many negative comments on social media platforms.  Those activities actually increase my feelings of anger, fear and aggression. Feelings which I do not enjoy.  It is also clear to me that we all have a love and compassion side which is supported or fed by activities such as forgiveness, serving others, heartwarming news stories or even the simple act of smiling.  I enjoy those feelings and make the choice of turning off the news after achieving some awareness of daily events.