Saturday, December 26, 2015
This was a day of getting things done in preparation for taking a trip back east to Baltimore. I took the time to exercise, rest & eat but also just moved from one task to the next. I felt impatience creeping in and also fretting at moving too slowly. I simply kept reminding myself to do the "next right thing" and kept moving. It is now time to meditate and be at peace. I will be away for a few days.
Friday, December 25, 2015
Today was a day of valuing and being grateful for the numerous connections I have with other people. At this point in my life I love pretty much everyone & have no people that I consider enemies, though some that I would rather not be around. There was a special Christmas-eve gathering for worship tonight. I noticed that I wanted to be with the people, not for Christmas, which I do not celebrate because of commercialism, but for connection and love
Thursday, December 24, 2015
Connections of all types and being with social groups are very important to me, as are periods of solitude. I need both to feel balanced, usually daily. In terms of different types of connection, I enjoy being alone in various "wild" natural settings and I also enjoy the trees and birds in my own backyard, which is "tamed" and in the city of Flagstaff. We have a variety of social groups we are part of and connecting with people, experiencing different levels of intimacy is very important. With all of that, my alone time becomes extremely important. The balance keeps shifting, but is always rich.
Tuesday, December 22, 2015
I went to the new Star Wars movie today and, as I commented to Maria, found it mostly silly and very enjoyable. It also strikes me that the ideas behind the "Force" are at least partly true. In my experience, there is a genuine healing and very positive power in love, empathy, connectedness and compassion. There is also a very enticing and destructive opposing force. I have felt and made use of each force or power. I have found the power in love, empathy, connectedness and compassion to be much more rewarding and fulfilling.
Monday, December 21, 2015
Today I performed several activities in order to promote my book and definitely felt "out there". When I perform such activities there is an old, family or origin part of me that shouts "you will be punished". On the other hand, there is a love-based part of me that simply feels that I am doing the right thing and that everything will be fine. I wish the fear part of me would go away or at least be silent. I will continue to act on the love-based side and not "feed" the fear.
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Today I didn’t do anything remarkably different but I began to feel overwhelmed by life and realized that I just needed time to sit, contemplate, meditate and sort. I just needed sorting time. This morning I set up & then attended a recovery meeting. I then led a group therapy for some young recovering addict/alcoholics and, after that, went to a Christmas party. There was a lot of social interaction throughout. Tonight I just sat & sorted.