Friday, October 12, 2012


I have been carefully molded, that is clear.  In many ways I am different than my peers and in other ways, I am just like them.  I walk in two worlds, this transient one, and the “other side”, the eternal one.  Many people have walked this path before and I thank them for their guidance.  I “play my piano and sing my little song”, meaning I go on being Charlie.
I just met briefly with one of my sponsees.  I was instantly, totally focused and connected with him and God.  It was not something I tried to do.  It happened automatically with no volition on my part.  At other times, I have actually tried to resist this sort of transition, thinking I was too tired.  I could not.  It is a magical experience and profound healing can and does take place.  Others feel it to and respond thinking I am doing it.  I am just being a listening conduit to God.  I also sweat profusely, my nose runs and it is exhausting to do it more than a couple of hours without a break.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Relationships Matter

Today I did lots of connecting and interacting, in a variety of settings.  A wonderful day.  I am reminded of what I learned in early recovery, that “nothing matters very much and very few things matter at all”.  Most material things in the created order fall in the second category, they don’t matter at all, in the long view.  Love and relationships are the only things that matter and they matter a lot.  However, considering eternity and the universal, any one specific relationship is not critical.  I use “Would I care about this if I were on my deathbed” as my measure of importance.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Healing Touch

When I performed a healing yesterday, I accessed the transcendental (beyond words and intellect) love/God energy that I was first taught about in the sweat lodge, when it was used on me to heal a burn.  What I do is recall the feeling of that time, and other similar times, fill myself with that energy, funnel the feeling into my hands and then transmit it to the other person.  I also use the same healing technique on myself, at least twice each day.  The results are quite remarkable, some say miraculous.  On myself, I have healed several conditions that, typically, would require surgery.  On others the results have been similar.  Sometimes the results are immediate, sometimes long-term, sometimes nothing happens.  I act as a conduit and the outcome is not up to me.
When I first began doing healing work, I would access the feeling of unconditional love in the manner described above.  I would visualize various items that evoked that feeling, like babies, small children or favorite pets.  After several years I began to access the powerful, supportive feelings associated with sacred sites I had visited, like Chaco Canyon, the Black Hills, Bear Butte, the Grand Canyon or the San Francisco Peaks.  I found the healing power of the sacred sites to be stronger than unconditional love.  I now use the transcendental energy mentioned above, since I have found it to be strongest.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Achieving Happiness

I encountered a man today that made it quite clear that he was very smart, a doctor and had all the answers.  He knew that the main reason his life was not working, was because others did not understand things the way he did.  He was also not happy and his son was distant, angry and drug dependent.  He was in a trap made for him by his own intellect, a totally miserable place to be.  I have been in a similar “trap”, having done everything that my culture and upbringing said would make me happy, and still being miserable.  I cannot speak for him but I was also bewildered and confused, since I had done everything “right” and still felt terrible.  It actually felt like the more I accomplished, the worse I felt, definitely not what I expected!
I did not achieve happiness until I took my intellect off of its pedestal, and put my focus on love, connection, compassion and understanding. That switch sounds easy and straightforward when I write about it, it was not.  The switch to a “softer” way of life took a lot of strength and courage.