Saturday, December 8, 2018
Today the main issue I am dealing with is learning to sleep on my back rather than my stomach and I need to remember the Buddhist comment "first the laundry, then the ecstacy". My shoulders and back do better and have less pain and strain if I sleep on my back. I also am just more peaceful in that orientation though it is not my preferred position. I am accustomed to dealing with issues that are more complex, esoteric and potentially far reaching. However, I also need to attend to the simple, straight forward matters as well. When I address the simple life issues that seem trivial, I am better equipped to do things I think important.
Friday, December 7, 2018
Recently I have had several examples in my life of what it’s like not to accept life the way it is and I realize that I would feel a lot worse if I did not approach my life with gratitude and acceptance. I need not like the limitations of getting older and being disabled but if I accept those limitations I can work with them and minimize there impact on me. Fighting with them only results in my feeling worse. I can also always be grateful. Today I can be grateful for being largely free of pain but even on days when I have pain I can be grateful that my condition is not worse. I am reminded of the Buddhist comment that "pain is inevitable, suffering is optional".
Wednesday, December 5, 2018
When I began my recovery back in 1985 I was thirty-six and still using behaviors I had learned as a child growing up in an abusive alcoholic home. Those behaviors included things like perfectionism, hyper-vigilance about what others thought of me and self-hatred. Behaviors which had originally begun as survival tools and which I had melded into my lifestyle but which no longer served me well since they caused anxiety. I began attending recovery meetings in order to change those behaviors, realizing that change would require courage since part of me still believed that those behaviors were a necessary part of survival. I am very grateful that through the love and support of many people I found the necessary "courage to change" and today need to recall how difficult that was, as I assist others in the process.
Tuesday, December 4, 2018
I have been reading Marcelle Martin’s Our Life is Love: The Quaker Spiritual Journey. In the chapter I am reading now she describes the simple life of the faithful and I find that she is describing much of the life I lead. I choose this type of life because it fits me, not because of some sort of adherence to the way of faith. We have many pieces of very simple and basic hand made antique furniture which I bought at auctions (cheaply!) And refinished. Most of those pieces have been ugly and are now beautiful but scared a bit and showing some road marks, reminding me of the owner. I am very grateful to be leading a life of love.
Monday, December 3, 2018
My wife commented today that I had more challenges up ahead in response to my saying that my work with the spirits had been one of support and encouragement for the last few days and relatively easy. It’s true that I am clearly not done and that there is much to do for the world to become a loving, spiritual place of being. I feel a strong need to be open and listen. "It requires even more discernment to discover whether the ministry called for from a particular individual in a particular instance requires prophetic speech, humble and hidden activities, bold and dramatic action, professional service or some, novel and previously unimagined course." (Patricia Loring)
Sunday, December 2, 2018
Tonight during meditation I began by focusing on the feeling of unconditional love, then enlarged the scope to include "being" as opposed to doing and having. After blasting the spirits and everything around me with healing, Loving energy I sent them the message of being and urged them to "pass it on". That all felt very good and solid, in a fluid sort of way! With all the talk and advertisements about black Friday and the daily emphasis on "doing" our jobs, I urge balance. "To attain excellence, you must care more than others think wise, risk more than others think safe and dream more than others think practical".