Saturday, June 15, 2019
One of my practices is that as I go through my activities on any given day I make it a point to see and feel God’s Love and grace in everything, producing a huge amount of gratitude at all times. For example today I had a meeting with one of the people I work with and last night I was given guidance concerning what we would talk about and how to prepare. Today during that meeting when those events took place, I smiled, did what I was told and felt gratitude. "When the will, in becoming aware of the satisfaction afforded by the object of sight, hearing or touch does not stop with this joy but immediately elevates itself to God, rejoicing in Him who motivates and gives strength to its joy, it is doing something very good. (St. John of the Cross)
Tuesday, June 11, 2019
I have found and live within what Jesus called The Kingdom and, as Jesus said, The Kingdom is present here and now, it is ever-present if we do what is necessary to access it. I live within what I call a bubble of love and witness everything and everyone through that lense, hard to see from where I came from. Seeing and feeling the divine in a beautiful sunset does not surprise me but seeing and feeling love and wonder while viewing a cockroach scurrying across the kitchen counter does. This manner of living provides joy beyond compare even with my pain and disability.
Sunday, June 9, 2019
I have been thinking about the relationship between me and my doctors lately since I am considering going to another neurologist in the hope that he or she can understand my position and, at least, track my symptoms, perhaps even make suggestions. The problem is that I have taken a spiritual/meditative approach to my problems and, between God and myself, have learned to moderate my symptoms in order to remain functional. My approach is outside of their training and they consider what I do to be impossible, given my diagnosis — so they conclude that my diagnosis must be wrong and that I am fooling myself, very frustrating. Their conclusions are not helpful to me. My PCP has at least seen a sample of what I do when my thyroid healed. He remains neutral and concludes nothing. I am not certain what I will do but it is helpful for me to realize that I am putting them on the spot.