Saturday, November 17, 2012
For the last several days I have spent less time in the morning doing my deep meditation or zoning and more time just sitting and contemplating on the absolute of God/love/presence. I do this by sitting in front of the wood stove, possibly doing some spiritual reading and simply focusing on the feeling of love and the presence of God. I refer to this as absolute because, in fact, nothing else really exists. There is none of the duality, like hot versus cold or black versus white, we are accustomed to, only the love. I also have, in the background, the awareness or memory of things like hate, apathy, hurt, pain and depression, feelings that make the absolute of love feel even stronger because of the comparison. There is also an awareness that the worldly feelings are illusory and transitory. In part, it is a matter of focus.
I have mentioned it in this journal before, but I talked of the phrase in a meeting today have been reflecting on the comment that “nothing matters very much and very few things matter at all”.
I was taught that things like performance, what others thought of me and my intellectual achievements were pretty much the only things that mattered, a fear based approach which resulted in a great deal of angst. The more I accomplished, the greater the angst. Those things matter little, if at all. The things that truly matter are things like relationships, love and compassion. The more I develop those things within myself, the better and more peaceful I feel. Those things have some eternal significance and come from God. “Money, power and prestige”, come from humans and only have short term significance.
Friday, November 16, 2012
It felt like a very solid day and I feel firmly rooted on my path. However, paradoxically, I’m not sure what that path is beyond being strongly connected to God, asking for guidance, doing the next right thing and being of service. I do not feel attached to much of anything in the created order. I also have no idea where my path will lead me. My path has no firm boundaries, limits or direction, and that is excellent, but a little strange.
I had four clients today. I clearly “comforted the afflicted” with the first and “afflicted the comfortable” with the last two. The second was a mix. All actions were taken with the utmost love respect and I had a good connection with each. I was a good conduit today!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
I have been reading a book called Wolfkiller which consists of stories and wisdom of a Navajo sheepherder from early in the 20th century. His stories and wisdom were, in turn, passed down to him from his mother and grandfather, through their oral tradition. He lived close to the earth. Through his stories it becomes quite clear that he realized and treasured the knowledge that we are all connected to everything and everybody. It is also quite apparent that knowing of that connection changed his life and made it quite beautiful and fulfilling. Knowledge of that connection changed his general attitude and the way he interacted with the world around hin. I too value that connection. There is a love and respect for all things there and knowing of that connection has also changed my life dramatically.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
When I say “understanding is not required”, it is an acknowledgment that I do not need to thoroughly understand something intellectually. As in the last entry, my accepting a very limited, and totally non-intellectual understanding is based on love and faith, not intellect. Pursuing a thorough, intellectual understanding would be fear based and would very likely detract from or completely eliminate the spiritual experience. As several workers in the field have realized, scientific analysis and an attempt at a thorough understanding of spiritual things frequently conflicts with or eliminates spiritual events. The intellect and the spiritual represent different paradigms and one cannot be used to evaluate the other, except in very simple ways. For example, it is possible through scientific study to show that healing touch expedites healing in mice but not why or how.
We had a very strong lodge tonight and I was clearly “targeted” by the lodge, meaning the lodge, which is more closely connected with God than I am, had selected me as its target for special interest. The targeting actually started before the ceremony and continued during. Before the lodge began, the smaller and older of the two lodges on our property summoned me to it and had me place my hands on it so that it could better connect with me. When I placed my hands on it and began to focus and be open, it began to do a combination of a transcendental healing and a “downloading” (the best description for how it feels) of information into me. It was so intense I found it necessary to make contact only for a minute or so, before taking a break to walk around some. While walking around, I was in a dazed state and only minimally connected to what we think of as reality. I did the contact and walking around several times before lodge time. During the ceremony, which was in the large lodge, the process continued in much the same way, but less intense so that my connection with reality was stronger and I was more able to interact. Quite an honor! I can’t say that I understood what took place but I do know that God and the lodge was helping me with my healing and helping me to be the person I wish. Understanding is not required.