Saturday, December 20, 2014


Being lost, groundless, wandering aimlessly through a trackless desert, seems to me to be part of recovery, part of reality.  Earlier this week one of my friends spoke of that feeling as one of “nothingness”.  That feeling seems to be the normal feeling that results from mindful meditation, combined with giving up the attachments that provide the illusion of being grounded.  I am referring to the attachments common in everyday life like material possessions, belief in a job, the importance of being young, physical health or belief in the many tragedies of life.  In my case I have given up many attachments, do a lot of meditation and feel lost much of the time.  I am also free to be acutely aware of the world around me, a feeling I enjoy.

Friday, December 19, 2014

Staying Rooted in Love & Faith

As I said in a recovery meeting earlier this week, I need to stay firmly rooted in love and faith, if I do that the events in my life feel harmonious, I make better choices and things tend to work out.  The way I do that is to begin each day with spiritual readings, prayer, meditation, asking for support and guidance.  If I do those simple things, the problems and challenges that I encounter during the day resolve fairly smoothly.  I feel much better.  If I fail to do those things, I get caught up in fear and react accordingly.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Being of service

Tonight, I was experiencing and absorbed by fear, something that has happened periodically in recent times.  Maria asked me to do some hands on healing with her, which I did.  As part of my preparation for that I changed my focus from fear to love and within a few minutes I felt much better.  Being of service to another and changing my focus to love usually has that effect.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Empty Fullness 2

Sensing the empty fullness and connection of all things, which I spoke of yesterday, seems to require mediation, presence, listening and a high degree of detachment.  This is a very difficult combination, but well worth the effort and commitment.  I am reminded of the words of Joy Marsh; “there will never be a dull moment.  You will see the colors of music, hear the songs of color and be blessed with magic people”.  In my experience, everything appears and feels very much more vibrant.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Empty Fullness

During my recovery meeting tonight one of the members was talking about his experience of sensing what I call the empty fullness and wondrous nature of all living things.  When I talked to him and encouraged him after the meeting he was speaking of his deep connection with trees and his sense of their growth, roots and intimate connection with the earth.  For me, it was exciting to hear someone else waking up to that reality.  I also suggested to him that he not try to understand, define or thoroughly describe the experience, to just enjoy it.

Monday, December 15, 2014


In talking to a client today, I was reminded of the connections we can make with dead friends and relatives.  I have used that connection, with my clients as part of the grieving process.  I might have them write a letter or simply talk to the person who has passed, expressing words that have not been said, a process that I have done myself.  I even suggest that they ask for a sign that the deceased person heard them.  The process, which assumes the deceased are still present in some way, has proved to be very cleansing for myself and others.

Sunday, December 14, 2014


A day of intense emotions, numerous connections and lots of love.  The day began with a very meaningful recovery meeting during which a close friend celebrated twenty-eight years of being clean and sober.  Then Maria and I visited with another old friend who had just returned from a spiritual excursion to India.  That was followed by some intense work with the family of a recovering addict and then a celebration of several addicts completing the first phase of their recovery program.  Each of the events was an example of moving forward in love and life.  All in all, a very fulfilling and meaningful day.