Spiritual Journey

I am experiencing an inner conflict as I continue to further "turn my life and will" over to God’s care and guidance. Internally I am shifting and a small part of me is resisting. I cannot put the shift into words using logic and reasoning but I can sense it happening. I have long viewed myself as the cabin boy on a beautiful ocean going several masted sailing ship which I own but God steers, determining where we go and what we do. Using this metaphor, God was like a partner and mostly in charge but the ship was still mine. The best I can do in explaining the current transition is that I no longer own the ship but am still a cabin boy. I simply follow. "One by one we move beyond conceptions of ourselves, just as we pass beyond metaphors, symbols, and conceptions of God on the way into unmediated, unknowing, intimate relationship with the source of our being." (Patricia Loring)