Patience

Last night and this morning I have been watching my own conflicting thoughts and feelings concerning my level of patience with my recovery process.  I have also been chuckling with that loving parental attitude of a parent watching a silly but growing child.  When I began focusing healing energy on my disability I was reminded by the powers that be, that it took me five years to progress from needing crutches to using a cane — so if I was going to approach my disability I would need patience.  Right now I do not know what the outcome will be and I do not know a time scale.  I am good with that and quite content to know it will take a while.  I also note that any change in my abilities produces fear because it is a change and I do not know where it will lead.  I feel impatient because it’s taking so long and gratitude that it is happening at all.  So I have conflicting feelings and I need to keep in mind that feelings are not rational — and chuckle.