Mixed Feelings

I spent a good part of today in preparation for the coming panel discussion about my book. In addition to a simple discussion, I also plan on a couple of short meditative experiences which illustrate the potential physiological, emotional and spiritual impact of a loving attitude. The panel and my approach both feel like the right thing to do, as do my other preparations. As I commented in my recovery meeting today, the preparations, the book and the panel all reflect that I have something of value to say. I also hear internal whispers saying that what I say has no importance, that I have a lot of nerve doing this and that I will be punished for expressing myself. The latter are voices from my history that have no validity but are still there.