Anger

Generally if I am angry even a little bit or for good reason and I try to intervene in some way, I am likely to do or say something "stupid or ugly". I’m better off being quiet and letting my anger pass until I feel understanding and loving. In my recovery meeting today several people said that their anger was a useful motivator causing them to speak up or take action, when needed, an approach which makes sense for some people. Not for me. If I am angry I am better off using meditation or contemplation to discover what nerve inside me is being inflamed and letting it pass.

Holistic Healing

Today I am fed up with being disabled, meaning I am angry and somewhat depressed about it. Normally I simply consider my disability to be an unwelcome partner in my life. I accept it but do not like it and on those days it is just kind of a nuisance. I can maintain that more positive attitude when I focus on gratitude for the many gifts in my life and the lessons that my disability has taught or helped me with, like patience. It is also important for me to admit and feel openly those days that I am fed up, otherwise I hold those feelings inside and they build.

Suffering

The topic for today’s book study was the role of suffering for spiritual awakening, a pithy, controversial and complex subject. I have certainly had periods of extreme pain and suffering which always resulted in greater or more complete surrender to the power I now call God. In my case, I was stubborn so the pain and nowhere else to turn was necessary. I do not believe that pain and suffering is always necessary and I watch others who seem to be offered the option of surrender without suffering. The choice is theirs to make