Acceptance

Today, for a major portion of the day,. I felt totally fed up with being disabled.  As I said to Maria, because of my disability “everything that I do is such a f----ing chore”.  I did not change my activities or behavior in any way, doing cooking, exercising and computer work.  I even worked with two clients.  However, my belief in unconditional love tells me that I should embrace the feeling and let it pass.

Non-measurable Effects

Yesterday I attended a workshop in which we covered various measurable aspects of the stress response and holistic methods of alleviating that response, like meditation, yoga and breath work.  The measurable responses like hormone levels or activity within specific areas of the brain can be readily recorded and quantified.  It is those aspects where the focus is, for obvious reasons.  I asked and am intrigued by the non-measurable responses like the fact that the mere presence of an observer has an impact on the outcome or the impact of a loving connection between the people in the experiment.  As was pointed out by the speaker, I make use of that response, daily.  I suspect it has a very large impact.

Gratitude

My comments of yesterday helped to shift my attitude to one of gratitude.  Overall, my life is quite a bit easier than life is for most people in this world and it is good for me to remember that.  Life is often pretty harsh, especially for those like myself with disabilities and special needs and especially in developing countries or parts of this one.  The fact is, that I am pretty comfortable; living in a beautiful place, having an adequate income with my physical needs met.  I am very much aware of my connection to everything and everybody and attempt to live in a manner that respects that connection, being of service and doing as little harm as possible.

Difficulties

This evening Maria commented that she wished my life was easier and, I must admit that I would like that too, but I quickly reflect on two points.  The first point is an attitude that I picked up from a tree living in a harsh environment; “it is what it is”.  The second is a comment by R. Bach, “An easy life doesn’t teach us anything.  In the end it’s the learning that matters: what we’ve learned and how we’ve grown.”  The fact is that, because of life experiences, I now know things, primarily about love, compassion, gratitude connectedness and the life process in general.  I, very much, appreciate the things I have learned and think I will leave it at that and pass it on.

Better Choices

This was a day of peace.  I had no clients, went to a movie, exercised, interacted with Maria and went to a recovery meeting.
The movie I went to was “The Giver”, which I found very enjoyable and the movie also emphasized some points that I am passionate about.  One point was the unique value and importance of the presence of love in this life.  Anther was that all of life’s experiences, pleasant & unpleasant, are a vital part of this journey.  Another point that was emphasized was that we are capable of making better choices than those based on fear and violence.

Connection To All Things

I went to a Friends/Quaker meeting this morning and, at that meeting, one of the participants spoke passionately of sensing God in all things, particularly a large, old, stately juniper.  The first time that happened to me was many years ago, while sitting on a ledge on the side of Grandfather Mountain in North Carolina.  I love the feeling of knowing and sensing my connection to everything and everyone, finding that love and connection everywhere.  Sensing that causes me to  treat the earth and all of its inhabitants as sacred.

Not A Pedestal

Most of my clients and other people that I work with on a non-professional level, put me on a pedestal and observe that I can do some remarkable things.  The remarkable things, for the most part, are true, the pedestal is not.  Being put on a pedestal is a normal part of the process but, in truth, God deserves the credit, not me.  It is good for me to keep in mind that I am just Charlie, a normal person, and that I can only do the things I do because of my spiritual practices.  As I said to Maria, “as long as I stay humble, continue with my spiritual practices and do what I’m told, magic happens around me”.  It’s fun, fulfilling and a lot of work so I suspect I will continue.