Change

“If you continue to do what you have always done, you will continue to get what you have  always gotten.”  A simple phrase which I originally encountered many years ago written in chalk on the blackboard in a recovery meeting.  The phrase has been on my mind so I expect I should pay attention.  I have made some large changes in my behavior recently which I could consider.  Maria, my wife, has been staying with her mother, while her mother recovers from a broken hip, so I have been on my own.  Additionally, my recovery meetings have been cancelled due to the pandemic, leaving me even more on my own.  As a result I have ramped up my prayer, meditation and gratitude practices.  It is useful for me to realize that I am doing well without these external supports and also how much I value personal connection.  I have made it a point to have several connections a week.  I feel spiritually and emotionally strong.

Unconditional Love

As a part of feeling love, compassion and empathy for myself and the other humans on this earth, I need to recognize that our behavior and beliefs also make me angry, at times.  I suspect that all of us have been fear driven, egotistical and shortsighted sometimes, which makes it hard to judge.  The resulting behavior makes me angry, particularly when that behavior is directed at me.  I note that unconditional love, like the colors that make up white light, is the combination of all feelings.  So, in order for me to feel the pure love I wish to feel, I need to acknowledge and feel the anger and then transcend the anger to feelings of love, compassion and empathy.  That feels good but I find it hard to remember and I need to work on it today.