Listening

This morning during my recovery meeting I was planning to request a "group conscience" in order to discuss what I thought was the need for the meeting to be more rigid in its adherence to traditional recovery — But when I got there I felt compelled to wait and listen. I was concerned that my desire of calling for that group conscience and being more rigid was motivated by ego fears and not love based. My plan did not feel right so I kept quiet and listened. There were two very new people at the meeting, one of them still detoxing. They each expressed their gratitude and were obviously helped by the looseness of the meeting. They had each attended more traditionally rigid meetings and clearly benefitted from our looser approach. I think I will remain quiet. "It [inner silence] is to establish an inner peace, an inner harmony, which will allow us authentically to contribute to the establishment of an outer peace and an outer harmony in the world at large." (Daniel A. Seeger)

Guidance

Two days ago I wrote of putting the final touches on the coming retreat and, like everything else in my life, seeking guidance for my words and actions. Within that guidance I then choose what, if any, action to take, exercising my free will. Having experienced negative consequences by going against that guidance numerous times, I now follow that guidance. Generally I enter into a period of meditation with a request for guidance and wait until I feel right or clear about a response. If the question persists and clarity does not come, I do nothing.

Retreat

Today I was making some final preparations for a four day (1½ travel, 2½ actual retreat) spiritual retreat I will be leading in Mexico during the middle of September, part of my effort to change the world "one person at a time". There will be approximately ten people there and I will make an effort to be a loving, Godly presence as I loosely guide them for the weekend. The theme will be developing the God seed in each of us. I will be passing on what I have been given, which feels like the least I can do. We will also be located on the shore of the Sea of Cortez, near Rocky Point, a pleasant and vibrant location. I look forward to greeting the earth and the animals at dawn as I sit and meditate along the shoreline.

Near-Death-Experience

One of the things I was told during my Near-Death-Experience in 2006 was "This is what it feels like to be dead", a feeling of very powerful, cleansing, healing and pure unconditional love — much stronger than anything of human origin. I have since come to understand that feeling is there as part of the atmosphere all of the time, while the appearance and what happens shifts. I have found that, with God’s help, I can generate something close to that feeling and then pass it on. I channel and generate that feeling when doing s healing. "A mystical touch is a deep, intimate contact-union-experience of God in one of His attributes such as power, light, goodness, beauty, or joy." (Thomas Dubay, S. M.)

Differences

I was watching the movie "Divergent" tonight about a young woman who did not fit nicely into any single behavioral category and had problems because of it. She was a miss-fit which caused her difficulties. Admittedly, I have not been calm and sweet about it, but I too have been considered to be a miss-fit. Throughout my life, beginning when I was quite young, many people have tried to "correct" my behavior which I experienced as not being understood or accepted. I now consider myself to be an independent individual with a strong, loving respect for people’s differences. I encourage and value differences, partly because I know what it feels like to not be accepted. "To resign one’s self to the fact that one must travel much in the dark and be greatly sifted and tossed about is an inevitable step in the way of spiritual growth." (Gilbert Kilpack)

Action

In my efforts to lead what Patricia Loring calls a discerned life and "changing the things I can", I find that I am most comfortable with the "humble and hidden activities" she speaks of, since there is less chance of offending anyone. I am now in a situation which will require "bold and dramatic action", which I have been putting off until I knew how to do it in a loving and respectful way. Previously I have only thought of ways to confront this person in an angry, judgmental way, which would serve no-one (but be justified and self-righteous!). "It requires even more discernment to discover whether the ministry called for from a particular individual in a particular instance requires prophetic speech, humble and hidden activities, bold and dramatic action, professional service or some, novel and previously unimagined course."