Processing Fear

Recently, I have written a lot about the impact and unreality of fear in my life.  The fact is that I have been working through, what seemed like, a major and very real fear, the kind of fear that caused my stomach to be upset and consumed much of my thinking.  I just kept doing the next right thing, in spite of the fear.  In order to determine the next right thing I used a lot of meditation and proceeded to take very careful action.  As much as possible, I used faith and love to realize that everything was and always would be just fine.  I now feel the sense of freedom that comes from having made it out of the prison of my own fears.

Remembering My Position

It has been a day of affirming my position in the universe.  I do very well as long as I continue to be in harmony or partnership with the force or power of love or God, and act accordingly.  I had two clients this morning, who are each doing very well and told me what a wonderful therapist I was.  Then I went to a recovery meeting where the topic was “humility”.  The woman before me mentioned that her day went exceptionally well as long as she maintained the partnership I just spoke of; as if to remind me.  When I spoke, I said much the same.

My Goal

Through my prayer, meditation, contemplation, a near death experience and my own living experiences I have come to know an unconditionally loving and selfless God, a God that truly embraces the human experience and free will.  Not a personified jealous God who judges me, considers me to be sinful or pitiful or requires any sort of obedience.  I, passionately, want others to know and live with that God.  My object or goal, at this point in my life, is to expose as many people as possible to what I have come to know.

Faith & Love

It seems important for me to face the activities of any given day with faith and love, rather than fear of consequences, an approach that is certainly more enjoyable.  If I think in terms of outcomes, I tend to gravitate to the negative and then worry about things to come.  On the other hand I can keep my attitude in the present, act the best I can, and assume things will work out, an approach that seems to work well.  Daily prayer and meditation helps me stay with faith and love.

Fear Versus Love

I recognize that the fear I spoke of yesterday is both very human and totally illusory vapor.  I look around me and notice that many (most?) people determine their actions based on a desire to avoid certain consequences, fear of those consequences.  That is something I have done most of my life.  I am now attempting to determine my actions based on love, selecting actions that will promote “the integrity of the universe”, a very different approach.  As I have noted before, taking actions based on love feels like a clear mountain stream while taking actions in reaction to fears feels like a turbid lake.  Love feels right and there is a clarity to it.

Fear

Today, at the Friend’s meeting especially, and during the last couple of weeks, I have been given a great deal of praise for my writing and ideas.  I wrote an article on “The Importance Of Connecting” for the Sun Paper, which several people have commented on and others have commented on my “Daily Journal” blog.  It may be strange, but deep in my gut a part of me screams “DANGER!!”, in response to the praise.  My belief is that I have used such praise in past lives to feed my own ego’s sense of power, and to dominate other people and then experienced negative consequences.  I do not wish to do that this time around.  As I said yesterday, I want people to understand and act on things like love, compassion, understanding and connectedness.

Limitations

This morning I was commenting on the fact that people respond with enthusiasm to those who can write or speak eloquently or even poetically.  I, on the other hand, cannot and/or do not choose to do that, I cannot seem to do that, even if I try.  My writing and speaking is very brief and not the least poetic.  I place all of my emphasis on the message contained.  I find that I am not at all sure that my choice is best in terms of reaching the largest number of people, but that is what I have been given.  I want people to understand and act on things like love, compassion, understanding and connectedness.