Self-image

I speak weekly over the phone with several people from different states around the country, offering them support and advice.  Most of the people I talk to have self-image difficulties, as do I.  During many of those calls in the last few weeks I have found myself saying things like “you are far better than you think you are”.  I also hear my internal voice asking “are you listening, Charlie?”, meaning I need to listen to the same advice.  Listening not in a prideful, egocentric way but in a humble, “lack of pretense” way.  In the words of Joan Baez “I am less than this song I am singing, I am more than I thought I could be”.

Being Authentic

A few days ago, at one of my regular recovery meeting, the speaker celebrated twenty-six years of being free of his addiction.  He spoke well, saying all the appropriate things, using the words learned in the program of recovery and expressing gratitude.  He made people laugh and even cry a bit and, as one person put it, he was entertaining.  I was disturbed by his talk since his emphasis was on saying the “right” things and having people like him, rather than being heartfelt and authentic, saying what was going on with him.  I used to do the same but realized what I was doing and then changed.  There were also two people who spoke from the heart and authentically who I enjoyed listening to.