Unconditional Love

I tend to view the various actions of people in this world through a lense of unconditional love, meaning a high level of discernment and a low level of judgement.  I notice many actions that are destructive to each other or this planet that supports us, usually for some sort of selfish, short term “gain”.  I have to admit that those actions sadden me, but I put no value judgement on them, I don’t view them as good or bad, they just are.  We are all just silly, foolish humans gradually learning and growing.

Meditating

I really enjoy just sitting quietly, focusing on a combination of relaxing and breathing and then meditating. I frequently count my breaths but only one on the in-breath and two on the out-breath, more than that is distracting and too complicated.  I just let everything go for several minutes, multiple times a day, particularly if something stressful comes up.  It’s like a mini vacation, very pleasant.  I am more apt to be present and attend to what I am doing, if I do that.

Being Present

Tonight was an interesting mixture of feelings of gratitude for my emotional and spiritual condition and growth together with an acute awareness of my poor physical condition and outlook.  The simple fact is that they are inter-related, my emotional and spiritual growth is due, in part, to my activities around my poor physical condition.  I am well aware that my emotional and spiritual condition is enviable.  I also recall how bad my physical condition was in 1988 and, on the other hand, how difficult my condition is today.  Overall, it is an interesting mix of feelings.

Growth

The process of promoting my book and myself stirs me up since I am not good at being “out there”.  However, promotion is necessary if I really wish to have an impact on many people.  As I said a few days ago “ I am good and comfortable with being quiet, peaceful, in the background and somewhat self-effacing”.  It’s time to get out of my comfort zone.  I need to learn to do that in a way that is in harmony with being Charlie.  I can do that if I pray, meditate, ask for guidance and do the next right thing.

A Change of Approach

I look around me and note that most people take actions based on the fear of undesirable outcomes rather than simply doing the “right” or most loving thing.  I also notice that many people try to use material possessions to take the place of spiritual connections or connections with each other.  I must confess that I have tried both, repeatedly.  Having tried both and in observing many other people it is quite apparent to me that neither approaches result in any sort of long-term peace or serenity.  I now choose to act out of love and have numerous heart-felt connections each day.

Self-care

During periods of stress like this, when I am doing things outside of my comfort zone, I need to be especially careful with my self-care, monitoring my condition and doing everything I can to stay balanced.  I seem to do pretty well with some of the standard things like enough sleep, maintaining a healthy diet, prayer, meditation and daily exercise.  The activities that I need to be careful with are my social interactions, relationships and asking for help or support.  I still have a slight tendency to isolate during times of stress and a desire to do things on my own.  Since I am normally providing service to others, they actually appreciate it when I ask for help - and it feels good to me too.

My Comfort Zone

I spoke today to a person about doing what I can to truly promote my book.  The conversation terrified me.  I am good and comfortable with being quiet, peaceful, in the background and somewhat self-effacing, all attitudes which will not promote my book.  I realize that in order to maximize the impact of my book I need to step out of those attitudes, at least for a while.  The words of Williamson come to mind “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”