I am 2

Acting out of that "I am" part is what Marianne Williamson was talking about when she wrote "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us." Acting out of that part and in harmony with the power I call God feels like "dancing with a 1,000 lb. Gorilla", scary, exhilarating and very right. That dance requires focus and not being attached to things of this world.

I Am

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj once said "Get to know that ‘I am’ without words which arises in the morning. Knowing the Self, abiding in the Self-knowledge, is not a mere intellectual knowing. You must be that, and you should not move away from it. Remain firm." That "I am" is the part of me that is part of the Source or God and is much more powerful, loving and knowing than my normal walking around self. I find, more and more, that I can be that Self all during the day, especially when doing a healing or working with someone else. This morning I had the privilege of talking about that Self with someone else, which strengthens that part of me and her.

Connection

As often happens in the spring of the year, today I have been very conscious of my vital connection with everything and everyone. In this case the calendar says it is still winter, but the local plants and animals think it is spring and I go along with them. The evening grosbeaks have come back, plants are sprouting and birds are singing the spring song. For the plants and animals this is a very active and sexual time of the year. They are experiencing a lot of growth, flowering, pollinating and friskiness, exciting to observe and be with.

I am

As long as I stay firmly rooted in the "I am" part of myself I can remember and live as if "Nothing matters very much and very few things matter at all", so I place little importance on and do not fret over much of life. The I am portion of myself is very loving, relatively selfless, solid and connected with the force or power that I call God. I encounter that part when I meditate in the morning and carry it with me most of the time.

Change

Maria and I are having thoughts of moving away from the Flagstaff area. At the present time we are only having thoughts since the necessary money is not there, only thoughts and intent. We have spoken of this to a couple of friends and realized that we would miss them and the many wonderful things we have here. We have each experienced a great deal of spiritual and emotional growth here but it seems time to move on. Also, for health reasons (Maria’s), we would be better off at a lower altitude with higher humidity.

Giving Up Anger 2

As far as giving up my anger, which I mentioned yesterday, I also found/find it important to give up my attachments, especially regarding self or ego. Beliefs and attitudes like "I deserve better", "don’t they know who I am?", "why is this happening to me" or "my life is too hard", do not work for me. Those attitudes prevent me from accepting and embracing the present. I am better off simply accepting my life, enjoying much of it and enduring the rest.