Choice

In the third chapter of my book I speak of the God or love seed in each of us, which I also mentioned in my entry yesterday. As I comment and observe we each have the potential, part or seed to be very ethical, other-directed and loving. We also each have the potential, part or seed to be very self-directed and materially focused. I have done and observed each, as well as having experienced and noted a shift from one to the other. At present time there is far to much emphasis on self-centered and worldly matters, feeding that seed.

Love Seed

In his book Ethics for the New Millennium, His Holiness The Dalai Lama calls for a spiritual revolution and I totally agree. At the present time there is far to much emphasis on self-centered and worldly matters, with negative consequences for many and this world in general. As he points out "We cannot be loving and compassionate unless at the same time we curb our own harmful impulses and desires." I suggest and support in my book that we each have a very ethical and other-directed love or God seed within us. Nurturing that ethical and other-directed love or God seed would accomplish the revolution he calls for and alter the way we treat each other and this planet.

Loving Not Judging

I have a chapter in my book on "Loving Not Judging" in which I say "Honor and embrace every aspect of your own life and the lives of other people, especially, doubts, questions and wrong turns. That is how we learn and grow." For that reason I found myself commenting that I would not judge someone for what they had done. The "mistakes" we have made are a valuable part of the life process. I have been shown and experienced unconditional love. At this point in my life, I can do no less.

Differences

The degree to which I am different from the majority of people astounds me, at times. As happened several times today I look at stories and advertisements in magazines or overhear conversations and find myself thinking "really?", recalling the comment which I heard years ago that "Nothing matters very much and very few things matter at all", meaning that most of the thoughts which occupy our minds are short term, trivial and relatively unimportant. I do place importance on things like love, compassion and relationships. I truly believe and live that. Then this evening I found myself fretting and obsessing about money matters! At tines like these, I am not so different.

Grief & Gratitude

This evening, at my recovery meeting, I really got in touch with how angry and sad I am about my sister’s recent death together with a strong feeling of gratitude that I found my way out of the personal hell she never found her way out of. We each had a lot of hurt, anger and depression from being raised in a moderately violent alcoholic home, resulting in poor life choices. We also each had our own problems with drugs and alcohol, which I worked through and she did not. We had each created our own very painful jail cell. In my case I found a recovery program, did a lot of introspection, journaling, used prayer, meditation and service work to get out of that cell.

Change 2

I have been reading The Gift Of Change: Spiritual Guidance for Living Your Best Life, by Marianne Williamson, which has seemed very appropriate since many things in my life are in the process of change right now. She talks about change within various aspects of life and the fact that part of us is fearful and generally resists change. She calls that the "ego" and differentiates that part from the love or faith-based part. The ego in me is loud, self-serving and leads me to fear and obsession, while the love part is relatively quiet, peaceful and oriented at the greater good. I prefer the love part.

Uncertainty

Today I have been seriously wondering why it is that I do not worry about things that are happening in the world around me, or even to me. For example, right now I am planning to leave Flagstaff, where I have lived for 23 years, and move to Maryland. I will be leaving people I love, I have not sold my house, I do not know where I will live or what I will do. I spend my days wondering about those things, but I do not worry or seek resolution, figuring that all will become clear in time. All I have to do is pray, meditate, listen and stay humble, simple but not always easy.