Beginnings & Endings

This was a day of beginnings and endings; I began working with one client, and finished this phase with another.  It is wonderful for me to be part of this process, just doing what I do.  Typically, when I begin working with a client, they do not feel good physically or emotionally.  The specific interventions and outcomes vary with each client, but I use love and connection with each of them in addition to offering various tools.  It is the love and connection that allows them to blossom so that, after six months, they have grown and changed an amazing amount.

Staying Humble

We had a men’s group tonight and I spoke of my fear of being more “out there” as far as just speaking out and the potential of influencing more people, which I feel “called” to do.  As a result of the group support, I feel very encouraged - still scared, but encouraged.  As I talked about in the group, I have the ability to influence other people and help them grow, as long as I stay humble and do so with love, asking for support and guidance along the way.  My fear is that I have experienced in myself and witnessed in others, that kind of power corrupting all of the people involved, something I would like to avoid.  I will continue.

The Importance Of Diet

In the not-to-distant past, I was very careful with my diet, eating primarily fruits, vegetables, nuts and whole grains, since that diet increased my clarity and connection with God, love and life in general.  Recently, I have been introducing more and more dairy products, mostly cheese, into my diet, resulting in slightly less clarity in my connections.  Physically nothing has changed.  My weight and cholesterol levels are fine and I am still, what most people consider, thin or even skinny.  In order to maintain or improve my connection, it is time to alter my eating habits, once again.

Pass It On

Today, Maria, my wife, pointed out that the general populous of the world would benefit from having a greater awareness of and contact with the force of God or love.  As she pointed out, many people seek that awareness and connection.  Also as she pointed out, I can provide some suggestions to help people gain that awareness and connection.  I will do so, as always, with the help, guidance and support of that force.  I have found a way to promote and incorporate that awareness and connection in my own life and will “pass it on” to others.  The prospect of that process scares me since I have miss-used my influence on others in the past, and I do not wish to do that again.

Worthiness

In a human sense, I am in no way worthy of the numerous gifts or the support and guidance that I have received from the power or force I call God or love.  It is quite clear that what myself and other humans view as unworthiness does not matter at all in an eternal sense. At present, my devotion is total and I will do anything I can to promote that power or force, activities and attitudes that clearly do matter.  I have had a difficult life and have done a lot of negative and destructive things to myself and others, during many years of my being hurt, angry and confused.  I still have a difficult life but am now devoted to being a positive force in this world.

Gifts

Today, I attended a celebration of someone who has been in recovery from drugs and alcohol (illegal drug and alcohol free) for thirty years, a milestone that I will be at in another five months.  I am an alcoholic and a drug addict who has been free from each for twenty nine years.  For the last twenty five years I have been living with a disability that was supposed to be progressive and degenerative and has done the reverse.  During the same time, I have experienced numerous other miraculous happenings.  All of these things, which logic says should not have happened, seem to be associated with God or love.  I choose to believe in that force.

Listening

Another relatively quiet day.  A day of writing, watching birds, exercising, cooking and resting, very suitable for a person in partial retirement, such as myself.  In my limited interactions I was very much aware that the people I was talking to would listen to most of what I said, make a few assumptions and try to fit my comments into their own experience, rather than simply listening to what I said.  I attempt to not make assumptions and projections when I connect with and listen to others but I am not certain that I would realize when I was doing that.