Balance

Patricia Loring commented that "To undertake to live a discerned life, to endeavor daily to be attuned to authentic movements of the Spirit leading us into greater fullness of life, is a strenuous undertaking." My life is always shifting so the balance required to live the "discerned life" she speaks of also changes. A few months ago it became clear that I needed more relaxation and "me" time so I began watching a few movies each week on my computer. Right now the weather is cooling off a bit (low 80s rather than low 90s) so it is possible, once again, to work in the garden, a peaceful distraction for me. I am also continuing with my other spiritually nourishing activities like meditation, recovery and Quaker meetings, working with people, reading and writing. Leading a discerned life is, indeed, a "strenuous undertaking" but well worth it. I find that I am always listening for possible life changes during meditation time. And never totally comfortable.

Conflicts

A substantial part of the incredible richness of the human experience stems from our potential internal conflicts and how we resolve those conflicts (free will). Our conflicts result from dualities like fear versus faith, temporal vs. eternal or short term vs. long-term. Within those and other dualities we have choices. The choices we make contribute to our growth and also reflect that growth. During my process I have made all sorts of choices and now choose the direction of love, faith and the eternal. As Walsch says in a comment he attributes to God "Embrace every circumstance, own every fault, share every joy, contemplate every mystery, walk in every man’s shoes, forgive every offense (including your own), heal every heart, honor every person’s truth, adore every person’s God, protect every person’s rights, preserve every person’s dignity, promote every person’s interests, provide every person’s needs, presume every person’s holiness, present every person’s greatest gifts, produce every person’s blessing, and pronounce every person’s future secure in the assured love of God."

One Master

When I am wrapped up in fear I lose the Kingdom or the feeling of being surrounded by a bubble of love — not that it goes anywhere but I do. I also lose that Presence when I become to enamored with or attached to material possessions. I can and do certainly participate in earthly things, just not attempt to make them more than transitory, relatively meaningless, but pleasurable events or possessions. This sort of attitude in me makes it difficult for me to fit into this culture at times, but that’s fine. I agree with St. Augustine’s comment that "we cannot serve two masters. But a man does try to serve two masters if he seeks both the kingdom of God for the great good it is and those other temporal things."

The Kingdom

That the kingdom of God, the Presence and power of unconditional Love, is both within and all around me is an astounding fact of life. I even felt it as a child, though not as acutely as I do today. As a child I also did not realize that I was part of that force, that it was within me or that I could connect with it as deeply as I do today. I find it amazing that Jesus said "The kingdom of God is not coming with signs that can be observed, nor will they say; ‘Look here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ for the kingdom of God is within you." and yet I was always told to search for the kingdom in external things. I also always sensed that it was out of my reach not that the kingdom was all around me and I could connect with it. "Jesus also said, ‘I am the light which is before all things. It is I who am all things. From me all things came forth, and to me all things extend. Split a piece of wood, and I am there; lift up the stone, and you will find me.’"

Spiritual Awakening

In today’s recovery meeting our theme was that "there is a solution" to our drug and/or alcohol problem, a topic that I love and became quite emotional about. The solution is a "spiritual awakening" which is not necessarily a religious experience or one that involves a belief in God. One of the people in the meeting was an atheist and one believed in a loving, supportive pink unicorn. In my case I found a loving power I choose to call God but the fact is that it does not matter what name a person uses. I found a very powerful and practical power and have support and guidance for all aspects of life. Today I was amused by the thought of my going into a doctors office and explaining that I have done so well with my disability because I found a spiritual solution. I have done that — and will continue. In most cases they just assume I was miss-diagnosed since my outcome is impossible with that diagnosis. Sigh!

Self-Care

Today was a "Charlie" day, meaning I took it easy, relaxed and did some things to pamper myself, an important part of my spiritual path. I had two sausage burritos and some oatmeal cookies for breakfast, went to a recovery meeting, had an egg sandwich for lunch, watched a movie on my computer and meditated. I did not meet with or work wit6h anyone. It was a good day of self-care. It’s important for me to realize when I need to take a break if I am to continue on my path. "Let’s be clear that "being at the spiritual game" means dedicating your whole mind, your whole body, your whole soul to the process of creating Self in the image and likeness of God. This is the process of Self realization about which Eastern mystics have written. It is the process of salvation to which much Western theology has devoted itself. This is a day-to-day, hour-to-hour, moment-to-moment act of supreme consciousness. It is a choosing and a re-choosing every instant. It is ongoing creation. Conscious creation. Creation with a purpose. It is using the tools of creation we have discussed, and using them with awareness and sublime intention.