Guidance

I spend several hours a day in meditation, listening for guidance, and I have been asked several tines how I can trust that guidance came from a good source and not a negative one. I rely, primarily, on my own ability to discern and often checking with others about what I "hear". I also listen for the fruits of the Spirit which have been translated as ‘love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, trustfulness, gentleness and self-control’" (Galatians 5:23 NJB). I listen for and expect the messages to be other directed and selfless. I like the words of Patricia Loring; "Our awareness develops in the context of prayer, our communication with God—not only as we address God but as we learn to listen for God."

Feelings

In the distant past I felt anger, hurt and judgment all of the time without understanding the feelings much at all. Then came recovery and those feelings gradually gave way to putting the anger, hurt and judgment in my past and becoming aware that they came from growing up years. Those feelings were then replaced with love and gratitude for everything and everyone, as I talk about in my book. For the last two years the feelings of love and gratitude have been there and dominant but also complicated by flashes of anger, hurt and judgment. For example, I might feel anger and judgment if someone is rude or socially inappropriate, quickly replaced by feelings of love for that person. Another example is that I can feel momentarily hurt when someone brushes me aside or ignores me then feel the love. I keep thinking of George Fox feeling very human weaknesses and then the Lord explaining that it was needful that he "should have a sense of all conditions’. How else should he learn ‘to speak to all conditions?" I sense that it is now time to move on and stop feeling even a flash of anger, hurt and judgment - just love, understanding and compassion. What comes next, I do not know.

Spirits

I was first introduced to spirits back in 1994 and since that time I have had numerous additional encounters. Up until then I was a "normal white boy", meaning, if pressed, I admitted the possibility of spirits but preferred what I could see-touch-feel. Initially they helped me and gave my life more depth and meaning. Since that time I have had several opportunities to help them, especially recently. I now find that I need their help again in order to advance spiritually.  "Great deeds can only be achieved when we are more than our little selves. When we are lent wings we should not reject them."(Irene Claremont deCastillejo)

Growth

Rufus Jones wrote "It [evolution to higher levels] is not now the result of an escalator coming up from below. It depends on us, and persons like us, whether we go on to further goals or not. The possibilities are in us, there is no compulsion. We can sag down to the level of animal life, or we can climb an inward Jacob’s Ladder and become rightly fashioned by spirits, kindled by a flame from above..... We have the possibility of becoming superbiological." I know what he wrote is possible since I have begun it, though I do not know how far I can take it. It’s exciting. As Joan Baez once sang "I am less than the song I am singing and I’m more than I thought I could be".

God Seed

In my book I talk about the "God seed" and its presence in everyone "no matter how despicable that person appears on the surface". Similarly, George Fox often spoke of "that of God" in each of us. Rufus Jones comment that "Man is from the start a finite-infinite being, and not a mere finite one. Partaking, as he does, of Reason he cannot stop his quest and pursuit of truth at any finite point, for finite truth is a contradiction of terms. If a thing is true at all it is infinitely true" My point is that no matter what name a person puts on it there is a part of each of us that is infinitely real and good, if we choose to acknowledge and work with it.

Inner Silence

Today was one of those days that I was not able to achieve inner silence and the resultant clarity in meditation, my clamoring intellect kept getting in the way. I would sit down to meditate and begin to focus on my breath or the feeling of Love, only to have my brain take off into any of several meaningless topics, like a hamster on an exercise wheel. I had been happily retooling my book and making some preliminary plans to query a specific agency, when I discovered that agency only wanted previously solicited queries, so my plans were thwarted and I needed to regroup. Exactly how to regroup, what direction to take, is what I wanted to meditate about. Perhaps I can achieve inner silence and meditate now. "It [inner silence] is to establish an inner peace, an inner harmony, which will allow us authentically to contribute to the establishment of an outer peace and an outer harmony in the world at large."(Seeger)