Reality

I felt old, creaky and disabled today. I also had some wonderful sessions with newly recovering addicts/alcoholics, good conversations with my wife and meaningful meditations. Overall, it was a mixed day, full of the realities of life, difficult, wonderful and fulfilling. I am a 67 year old, disabled alcoholic/addict with several wonderful gifts.

Love is Eternal

One of the practices in my book that I have done myself several times and recommended to others numerous times is to write a letter to dead loved ones, telling them "of your love and anything you wish you had said to them while they were alive. Within that letter also ask that they give you a sign that they have heard you and know of your feelings." I then suggest that the person "go to a quiet, meaningful place outside, burn the letter and listen or be aware of any signs." The reason I suggest the last is that there is always a sign that the dead loved one heard, especially if requested, meaning they are still present, just in a different realm. Love is eternal.

Significance

When observing myself or others I often feel that we are basically playing in a big, complicated sandbox, making believe that our actions have some significance. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the sandbox as much as the next person and I delight in taking part in the play, I just don’t take it very seriously, in an eternal sense. I recall the comment I heard many years ago that "Nothing matters very much and very few things matter at all". I also notice that love and relationships matter, they do have eternal significance and increase the integrity of the universe.

Paradox

It’s paradoxical for me to view the world and observe that, on the one hand, in many ways, we are destroying each other and this wonderful planet while on the other hand knowing that everything is just fine, perfect even. As I say in my website, book and this blog, my goal is to change the world - one person at a time, but I also realize that I am only one voice and that my overall impact is likely to be small. That situation is also perfect, though I will also do everything in my power to change it. My life feels very paradoxical and that seems to be good.

A Loving God

I went to a gospel concert today, put on by the NAU gospel choir, very moving. I was brought to tears several times during the concert and even got a little "sloppy" with my tears once. I am very passionate about that force or power I call God, having received (and worked for) several miracles and gifts. During the concert the choir and the moderator used the names "Jesus" and "God" several times, also referring to humans as sinners. The God I have come to know is more unconditionally loving than that, not caring what name a person uses or if any name at all is used. In my case, acting in a loving manner and knowing that something bigger than me is in charge seems to work just fine.

Being At Peace

Right now I feel at peace with my life. I usually feel good about life but I am usually pushing myself and there is generally a tinge of fear. Most recently I was working up to the panel discussion I led. That was decidedly out of my comfort zone & I had some fears, also knowing it was the right thing to do. During the last week I have done several things to promote my book, also out of my comfort zone, but I have been gentle with myself, not pushing. Being gentle feels right for today.