Doing The Right Thing

I carried out an emotionally extremely difficult task today.   In addition to making use of my three questions (would I do this in front of God?; is my name really on it?; will this increase the integrity of the universe?), I asked for guidance and support throughout.  I feel very good about my actions, but I did not enjoy it in the least.  I had several opportunities to avoid the interactions entirely, which part of me wanted to do, but it always felt like it would “increase the integrity of the universe” more if I did it myself, so I did.  I could feel my connection with God through the whole process.  It was very good and extremely unpleasant at the same time.

Progress Not Perfection

There are many events that happen to me each day that I, quite literally, take no notice of at all, knowing that in the grand scheme of things, they mean next to nothing.  I simply go about my day sensing perfection and harmony.  There are other events that the biggest part of me realizes they mean next to nothing, but I still get twinges of involvement or interest.  For example, things like stories on the radio, financial matters, clients not showing up for appointments or my ego getting stepped on a bit by most people, make no difference to me and I truly have no emotional reaction.  On the other hand, when my ego gets stepped on by a few, select people, I get a twinge of a defensive emotional response, which I do not act on, but I take note of.  Progress not Perfection comes to mind.

Letting Go

The most important event of the day was a sweat lodge for a bunch (10+3 staff) of newly recovering, young addicts and alcoholics, with two being new to the lodge.  During the lodge preparation it was noticeable to me that no matter what I did (multiple pallets, vigorous fanning and wood), I could not get the stones hot, though I kept trying, just to be sure.  I began to realize that, for some reason, the coolish rocks were by design, that was the way it was supposed to be.  Because of the coolish stones, the first two rounds were relatively mellow, then people left the lodge and the stones heated up readily.  As a result, the last two rounds were fairly hot.  The whole experience was an exercise in the universe unfolding the way it should.  Understanding is not required.

My Bias

I have a very close connection with God and know certain aspects of God very well.  I need to keep in mind that what I know is perceived through my own bias/filter, something I can see readily in others, but not myself.  I can only perceive based on my own understanding and experience, no matter how open and unbiased I try to be.  My views and feelings about God are not totally unclouded by my own personality, though I work hard and constantly at increasing the clarity.  I can also only perceive certain aspects, like blind men each perceiving different portions of an elephant.  In this case, I cannot possibly perceive the whole.  I can be with God and absorb as much as I can.  I certainly do not feel bad about my limits, just aware.  As with most things, it is what it is.

Three Questions

There are three questions which I automatically consider when approaching any sort of action, they are:  a. would I do this in front of God (or whatever you call that power/force),  b. is my name really on it (or is it really my responsibility), and c. will this increase the integrity of the universe (or is this loving, acting out of love always increases the integrity of the universe).  If I can honestly answer “yes” to each of those questions, I go ahead with the action.  If not, I adjust my action until I can.  Today, it was the third question, about the integrity of the universe, that I needed to pay attention to, several times.  As far as I can tell, secrets, lying (even “white” lies) and gossip never increase the integrity of the universe.  Neither does so-called brutal honesty, since it is not really honest.

Healing

It is now Sunday and we had the lodge and I got a burn on Friday.  When I wrote about it on Saturday, I still had a scar, but no burn.  Now I do not even have a scar.  I have gone through the same sort of process, often quite a bit more rapidly, perhaps twenty times.  I have also physically healed from many other conditions, some of which were, supposedly, incurable, and others that should have required surgery.  I am constantly amazed by all of this.  To me, it illustrates the power of love, God and the mind-body connection.  I have also shown my techniques to others, with similar results and I am convinced that we are all able to do this sort of thing.  I am left to wonder just what we are really capable of, definitely more than I thought.  I will continue to explore.

Vision Quest

Maria, my wife, came back from a vision quest today and we had a sweat-lodge to welcome her back into this world.  The vision quest is four days and three nights with no food and limited water during which the person is alone in the wilderness for a period of solitude, contemplation and meditation, a period of time during which the person very highly focused on the spirit realm.  The quest also involves three months of preparation.  During the return sweat-lodge the returning person talks about their experiences before and during the quest.  The whole process is quite powerful.
During the first round of that lodge I touched one of the hot stones, causing a fairly large second degree burn, complete with blister, on one of my fingers.  At that time I noted the burn and blister, wondering how long it would last, since other burns in the lodge did not last long.  The burn was gone sometime before the end of the lodge.  Understanding is not required.