Forgiveness

This evening, I found myself commenting, something I talk about in my website, that in the Absolute, with God, “there is no forgiveness since there is nothing to forgive”.  We are accustomed to dualities like right and wrong or harmless and harmful, and in those cases there is something to forgive.  Those concepts exist in the transient “reality” of the physical plane.  Within the Absolute, with God, there is no duality or dichotomy, there is only love, so there is nothing to forgive, all exists and is supported within love., the origin and meaning of unconditional love.  For me, that knowing, that realization,  results in a profound difference in the way I feel each day and choose to conduct my life.

Loving Connection

This morning I made a strong, loving connection with three newly clean and sober addicts /alcoholics I was working with.  Later, I did the same with someone at a recovery meeting.  To me, it is amazing to be a part of and watch what happens when I approach such interactions with love, openness and truly listen.  In that atmosphere people, blossom, grow and become more complete.  I used to approach people with judgments and then, frequently, attempt to control their behavior.  The difference in everyone involved is quite something to behold.

Getting To The Absolute

I strive to align myself with the Absolute or, as St. Teresa of Avila would say, lead a life of prayer.  A big factor that enables me to do that is beginning each day with a period of prayer and meditation.  The early morning, before anyone else around me gets up, is when I feel closest to God, which is why I pray and meditate then and it changes my whole day.  During that period I systematically negate various concepts, labels and ideas as defining me in any way.  I readily acknowledge that the concepts, labels and ideas are things I participate in, but also that they are outside of me.  The only true part of me is the sense of “I am” that is beyond my concepts, labels, ideas and aligned with the Absolute.  The various concepts, labels and ideas distract me from that.

In The World But Not Of It

In the morning, when I meditate/contemplate, through a process of noting and letting go of day to day thoughts and feelings, I finally arrive at the sense of “I am” a part of me which is connected to the Absolute, which I identify with God.  The Absolute, a place of total love and well being with none of its opposites, seems very solid, real and eternal, as opposed to the transient thoughts and feelings of my day to day existence.  If I continue to keep my focus on the reality of “I am”, I can carry out my daily activities, including unpleasant encounters and difficulties, with love, compassion and understanding.  My approach allows me to be “in the world but not of it”.

Finding The Absolute

The other day, during my reading, I encountered another past mystic and spiritual leader who had also encountered the Absolute, a place of total love and well being with none of the opposites, during his contemplation/meditation.  He even used the same words to describe it as I did and sensed its realness as well. When I first encountered/sensed the Absolute, I was not aware that many others had experienced it before me.  I felt quite pleased and validated that they had.  I have, since then, realized that I could only fully appreciate the feeling of the Absolute because of my memory of a primarily loveless childhood.  As I have said many times “what better way to feel the importance of love, than through the total absence of it?”

Spiritual Path

It is remarkable to me how easy it is for me to be pulled off of what I consider to be a spiritual path, meaning living in the present, feeling connected to everything and focusing on love and compassion.  A moment of TV or considering money or material possessions is enough to draw me into a world of fantasy, future and past.  Distractions are very compelling!  Today was a very fine example of first being pulled off and then doing something to bring me back to spiritual fitness.  I spent a good part of the morning preparing tax information and then a large part of the afternoon hiking with Maria and communing with nature.

Awakening

I have been reflecting a lot on the emotional “waking up” process that I went through and, subsequently have witnessed and/or assisted in others.  Prior to my recovery process, I had no idea that many of my actions were driven by feelings from events that occurred during my formative yeas of one to ten.  For example, when in my early twenties and after being a rebellious teen, I decided to start doing things “right” so I began to do well in school, follow intellectual pursuits and generally do all of the activities that other people approved of, especially my parents.  The results were doing very well in school, a Ph.D., a highly responsible job, anger, depression and a feeling of “is this all there is?”.  I was not happy and had no clue why since I had done everything “right” according to what I had learned, a position I have now witnessed in many others.
During my recovery, I have been exploring and getting to know my spiritual and emotional sides.  As a result, I am no longer angry or depressed and I feel balanced.  I have discovered many riches there!