Dark Night

Having gone through what St. John of the Cross called “The dark night of the soul”, a period of absolutely no consolation in anything coupled with extreme physical and emotional pain, I now feel/know a deep connection with God and just how wondrous this process called life is.  For me, that dark time lasted for several years with increasing glimpses of what I was seeking, and was completely necessary for me to become the person I am today.  During that time, I could only find consolation and healing through my connection with that force I call God.  As many people have commented in the past, God was always there, I just needed to make the connection.  It took what it took.  I sincerely hope that others can make that connection without going through what I did.

Understanding Is Not Required

Many of the things I do and say are strange to people raised within the dominant culture, things like sensing and using energy fields around people and things or experiencing the healing power of love.  As a result of the strangeness, the ideas often elicit fear or anger.  In my case, those ideas are rooted in personal experiences of mine or those of many others who have written them down in the past.  The ideas are very practical and have a direct bearing for life on this planet.  I cannot say that I understand or even try to understand these things (as I often say “understanding is not required”), but I use them in my day-to-day life.

Humility

I really enjoy watching the various birds that come to our feeders, especially the thirty or so crows.  Not to be insulting, but I get the same feeling from them that I get from observing the people that I come in contact with; delightful, charming, well meaning and silly at times.  We are very much like elaborate, complicated crows.  I used to formally study animal behavior, and even went so far as getting a Ph.D.  I now work with people, observing, connecting and dealing with human behavior.  In many ways, the basic drives and instincts are still evident, very humbling.
The words I say and print often surprise me, today is a good example of that.

My Glass is Full

I choose to be a positive force for people and things around me.  I also make an effort to be realistic, to admit that life is difficult and frequently unpleasant.  For example, I, often, have minor fear-based thoughts, physical pain or limits imposed on me by my disability.  Those same fear-based thoughts, physical pain or limits have led me to a wonderful life of connection and love for God, other people and things.  Both sides are part of my reality and I choose to embrace each.  Having had this realization, it’s not that my glass is half empty or half full, it is full.

Balance

Being in town, rather than fifteen miles out, feels very solid, like this is right where we should be.  Maria and I have each sensed for a while that our role was to be a source of  “peace in the middle of chaos”.  That is more likely to happen in the middle of town, which is where we are located now.
There has been a gradual shift in this culture away from the spiritual and towards materialism, consumerism, intellect and instant gratification.  The shift towards materialism, etc. is not, in itself, a bad thing, in fact that shift has led to significant advances in things like technology, science and medicine.  However, in the absence of spirituality that shift has also led to a sense of fear-based chaos, an imbalance.  Maria and myself, as well as many others, have, in some ways, turned away from materialism and toward the peace and love of the spiritual.  We still own and participate in things, but also emphasize the importance of the spiritual.

Listening

We went to Picture Canyon, within the outskirts of Flagstaff, today.  The excursion ended up being a very pleasant experience in listening to and being with the spirits.  We could each feel it when we entered the “zone” around the canyon.  Having entered the zone, Maria suggested various places along the way that we could stop to do our ceremony, for fear that it was too far for me to walk all the way to the canyon.  For some reason my sense was that it was important to get to the edge of the canyon, so we continued.  Once there, we sat, I meditated and was shown, clearly, what to do in terms of a ceremony using our pipe, a feather and smudge mix.

Connection 2

We are all connected to each other, everything else and the force/power/energy that most people call God.  I feel it, love it and love it.  To me, that connection feels very, loving, compassionate, understanding and cohesive.  It is a very strong, wonderful feeling that has been written about for many centuries by many people.  It seems to me, that connection transcends any sort of differences between people and other people or the earth that supports us.  I choose to honor that connection in my daily activities and I make every effort to not violate it, for any reason.