Connection

I have been reading Beyond Belief: The Secret Gospel of Thomas, by Elaine Pagels, a book that I recommend. I have a very close, mystical, connection with the force I call God. I’m not sure when my close connection began but it was certainly strengthened through my sweat lodge experiences. It was there that I learned to connect with the light, love and life in all things, a beautiful and moving experience. She comments that "According to Thomas, Jesus says that this primordial light not only brought the entire universe into being but still shines through everything we see and touch."

Bubble of Love

I walk around each day from within a "bubble of love", an overwhelming feeling of unconditional love, peace and well-being that I understand is the "kingdom of God". The feeling is also a "knowing" that everything is and always will be just fine. I act accordingly. I consider this feeling to be remarkable since I am getting old, a physical mess and fully aware of what we are doing to each other and destroying this planet. The feeling/knowing is a gift that comes to me through meditation and is totally unreasonable. In the event that I get momentarily distracted from the feeling, I pause and look inside to find it again. I find reassurance from the words that Jesus spoke as reported by Luke and others "The kingdom of God is not coming with signs that can be observed, nor will they say; ‘Look here it is!’ or ‘There it is!’ for the kingdom of God is within you."

Fruits Of The Spirit

As quoted in Spiritual Discernment: the context and goal of clearness committees, by Patricia Loring "The fruits of the Spirit have been translated as ‘love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, trustfulness, gentleness and self-control’" (Galatians 5:23 NJB). Meaning that having those qualities is a reliable indication of following the "right" or godly path. My life is full of those characteristics, in spite of my numerous physical challenges and getting older. I consider that a miracle and do everything I can to "pass it on". I also "beam" that feeling to everything and everybody I come in contact with - the least I can do having been given that gift. It’s a great life!

Life’s Events

Because of life’s events, which I am not at liberty to describe for reasons of confidentiality, I have been reflecting on how bad physically things used to be for me and that my condition was predicted to worsen and result in death. At my lowest point I discovered and began to use the power of unconditional love. That discovery through meditation and the ensuing years of enlightenment are described in my book - quite a process for me! I am reminded both of how difficult the journey has been and how wonderful the results are.

Self-care

Maria, my wife, and I have been talking about and acknowledging the fact that this last year of moving from AZ to MD and establishing our lives here has been extremely difficult. The shift has certainly been made easier by each of us belonging to our own recovery organizations and attending the Friends church. We are each tired so I took it easy today. Once again I did some weeding of the yard and straightening at the base of a our willow oak as well as other garden areas. I also exercised and rested. She and I purchased and watched a movie together last evening. The rest has been good and we needed it.

Gratitude

Right now it is storming outside and I can feel the power of nature as it thunders, flashes lightning, blows and pours - quite an experience of power and presence. The day has been a mix of feelings. I spent much of the day feeling pissy, out of balance and trying to figure out why, finally realizing that I needed more outside time to connect with the earth and plants, which I haven’t been doing much of in an effort to escape the heat. I went out in the yard to do some weeding and straightening. I ended up doing the weeding and straightening at the base of a large willow oak in our backyard. The activity was pleasing to me and I sensed that the oak appreciated it as well. I am back to feeling gratitude for what is, rather than disturbance for what is not.