Holistic Healing

I made the comment yesterday that “ I need to get in touch with that part of me if healing is to commence” about the fearful, doubtful part of me, which I would rather not admit or be aware of.  My tendency to avoid fully and exhaustively looking at myself can and does block healing until I break through that tendency which is how I spent most of yesterday and will do again today.  In this case really accepting, embracing, loving and experiencing the fear and pain is a necessary first step in the healing process.  I don’t have to like it and in fact the day was very unpleasant.  I like the results!

Change

Major changes are afoot in me and, at least temporarily, in the world around me.  In typical Charlie fashion I would like to think and say “I’ve got it handled” but an unspoken part of me (expressed as shoulder nerve/muscle pain) is terrified that I do not and I need to get in touch with that part of me if healing is to commence.  I have managed to harness and developed what is commonly called the “placebo effect” with miraculous results which I have mentioned before in this blog.  At the present time I have directed my healing to my disability, resulting in beginning changes in my speech and balance.  I do not know how far my physical changes will go or what they will lead to.  There are also potentially large changes in the world around me.  Time to have faith about how things are unfolding, hopefully increased spirituality and love, we shall see

solitude

I actually, primarily, enjoy the situation of the current shutdown and my life has not changed much from the simple way I normally live, though I do miss the human connection of my recovery meetings.  During most days I clean, cook, exercise, work in my gardens, sit quietly, meditate and talk with people on the phone.  I never shopped much, got involved in technology or was much of a consumer.   I have long realized that if everyone lived the way I choose to, that the economy would collapse and currently something like that is happening.  My hope is that some people find the joy and peace I have in this way of life and choose to continue the silence.  “To understand better the value of silence in daily life, and its relation to this spiritual transformation for which we yearn, it is useful first to consider the limitation of language, of words.....It is next useful to contemplate the limitations of logical reasoning.” (Daniel A. Seeger)

Myself

I am a good man but I am also complete, complex and well rounded, meaning I have my less desirable parts (which I choose not to act on!).  My actions reflect a simple, loving way of life which I have written extensively about in this blog and my book, which was based on my daily actions.  I sense eternity, sense my oneness with everything and everybody, have a strong connection with the force I know as God and I generally act lovingly.  I also have self-centered antisocial and fear based thoughts.  I used to have thoughts which I associated with my addictive side such as thoughts of manipulation, lying and using.  I love, openly admit and embrace all of that which helps me be loving and understanding with others.  I know several people who try to hide from their dark side — I do not.