Connection

I have a very close connection with God and I rely on that connection with the peace, Love and joy I find there to carry me through each day. Most of the activities in any day are difficult and challenging for me but I usually do not notice that because of that peace, Love and joy I feel. In order to cultivate and maintain that connection I spend a good part of each day in prayer and meditation. So far, I have not experienced any spiritually "dry" times when I do not feel that connection for which I am very grateful. "Immersion in God entails a being filled with Him, a divine inflowing. Biblical men knew well enough that this self-communication of God is the sole destiny of men." (Thomas Dubay, S. M.)

What Matters

We got a second opinion and analysis of the problem with our car and it was different from the first, but similar in that it was concluded that the engine was worn out. We can either replace the engine or get a new car. Given the age of the car (16 years), a newer engine is a bad idea. This will be expensive but it is also just a material thing. I am reminded of the words of Richard Pries from years ago that "Nothing matters very much and very few things matter at all". Buying a new is car not a matter of love or relationship, has no eternal significance and will matter little when I am on my death bed.

Focus

Today, in contrast to yesterday, I did well at maintaining my focus on "God, Love, healing and recovery" during my various activities. The difference between yesterday and today made me think of the comment by Gilbert Kilpack, that "one must travel much in the dark and be greatly sifted and tossed about is an inevitable step in the way of spiritual growth." During my exercise this morning I was able to keep focus on healing and harmony with the earth. Later in the day, during meditation, unlike yesterday, I kept my brain on "God, Love, healing and recovery" rather tan revisiting my monkey mind. Scattered through the day I was able to deal with the same car stuff I mentioned yesterday, without giving it much importance, reminding me of the comment by Thomas Dubay, S. M., that "A person is able to attend to the indwelling Trinity and yet carry on the ordinary business of daily life." I also relaxed for a while with an inspirational movie about a woman, love and her dog. It was a good day.

Meditation

Tonight I have been having difficulty keeping my focus on God, Love, healing and recovery during my meditation. My brain keeps drifting off into current events of my life and I keep noticing the wandering, not judging it and bringing my focus back. The current event that I am having trouble with is the situation with my car. We are not sure at this point but we may have to replace it. The various options vary, in cost, from hundreds up to $26,000, which captures my attention but it is also just material stuff and money, items of little importance. I wish to quiet the "clamoring" of my brain (monkey mind) which tends to give this topic more than it deserves!

Near-Death-Experience

When I had my Near-Death-Experience I could feel the Love of God and with that love was its strong "desire" (not the right word since it is human and God is more, but the best I can do) to create more love. The nature of love is that it creates more love, it spreads and increases. At that time I chose to come back to the living and be part of spreading that love, I felt I could do no less. That was a fine choice which has yielded incredible riches for me. I need to keep my focus on that choice or I slip back into my old ways, in spite of how harmonious it feels.

God's Love

I need to always to remember that "To be perfect in God’s eyes is to be my whole self" (Elizabeth Ostrander Sutton) and that God’s Love is very powerful, absolute and unconditional. I could feel all of that during my Near-Death-Experience and will never forget it — at least not for long. Like many of my fellow humans, I "have a history" and I am not totally free of my frailties in the present. I could feel that none of that made any difference, that reality did not diminish God’s Love in any way. The feeling was much stronger than anything of human origin.