Seeking

I seek and feel God in all my activities during the day, seeking not due to guilt or some feeling of obligation but because of the Love, peace and harmony I find there. Today, while blessing the plants in our garden, a female ruby throated hummingbird came to feed on our pink flowers. We also got several butterflies of various species coming to our butterfly bushes. I could feel the Love, peace and harmony of the plants and animals. "Seek Him we must, with a headlong love, with enthusiasm and romantic ardor, but also with lowliness and patience, and that is a hard combination." (Gilbert Kilpack)

Cognitive Dissonance

I am experiencing serious cognitive dissonance and I feel like a total fraud — though I also know that I am not. I go through my life wrapped in a bubble of Love and in partnership with God. Because of that union I end up being the person I cannot possibly be and doing things I cannot possibly do. During the first thirty-six years of my life I operated primarily out of my dark side and experienced negative comments from many. I am no longer that person though I am quite aware that the potential to be that person is still within me, but I choose not to act on it. I will continue moving along and being Charlie! "I am less than the song I am singing. I am more than I thought I could be. (Joan Baez)

Meditation

Yesterday I wrote that I wanted "to see, understand and appreciate that everything and everybody contribute to God, Love and eternity in their own [special] way. I don’t know how that works but then I don’t need to. When I meditate and arrive at that peaceful, Loving God place I can sense strongly that it is true. Everything and everybody are in divine order, a good feeling and one I wish to harmonize with. "When one is anchored deeply in the divine solution to all problems, outer turmoil cannot disturb the inner tranquility. It is a peace that surpasses all understanding." (Thomas Dubay, S. M.).

Surrender

In order for me to continue spiritually growing in recovery I currently feel the need to further surrender myself to the higher good of God, Love and eternity. I want to see, understand and appreciate that everything and everybody contribute to God, Love and eternity in their own way. I want to be conscious of and maximize my own contribution. In the beginning of my recovery process I gave up being a self-centered jerk and along my path I gave up lying, gossip, judging and criticizing others in favor of seeing "there, but for the grace of God, go I". I wish to now always act to promote and support God, Love and eternity.

Gratitude

Today I found myself talking about the necessity and power of gratitude in my life, how important it was to me and the fact that it is a choice. I do view it as a choice and it is important for me to make that choice if I am to continue with my life and help others do the same. As I pointed out today; I am 71, living in a part of the country where the climate does not suite me, usually in some pain and disabled since I was forty, so I have several things to feel negative about. Instead I chose to see my life as a gift and focus on the many good things.