Perspective

I realized tonight that when I identified with my ego, I was fearful of the pending, potential changes in my life.  However, when I identified with my soul or essence, I knew everything was just fine and I felt a sense of peace flow through me.  My ego is oriented at earthly matters and fear-based while my essence is eternal and love-based, quite a difference.  I think it’s a good idea for me to stay firmly rooted in love and my soul or essence!

Holistic Healing

I was diagnosed with a chronic, degenerative, neurological disorder back in 1988 & told that I would never get better and continue to get worse.  Since then, I have gotten quite a bit better, which has been documented and observed by neurologists.  It appears that my improvement has been due to the use of meditative techniques that scientists are now realizing the efficacy of.  Physiologically, my problems are caused by deficiencies in various proteins in the cerebellum of the brain.  These proteins are being studied by the medical profession.  The medical profession may now be developing medications that could alleviate my symptoms.  It is best for me to continue using the meditative techniques and the more standard medication route.

Dealing With Feelings

We had our monthly men’s meeting tonight and I talked about my book and showed them the initial copy.  I explained that I was terrified because of “putting myself out there” and the potentially life changing event of publishing.  I also spoke of the extreme sense of gratitude I had because of the whole journey.  I found myself repeating several times that “feelings are not rational”, especially with regards to the fear.  It was good to talk about the process and the associated feelings.

Clarity

I have set in place the necessary steps to begin the process of promotion of my book.  There is a lot of power in that little book and it means a great deal to me.  For those reasons I am asking for guidance and proceeding slowly, meaning I do not act until I get a feeling of clarity.  Basically I use the three questions that are the central focus of the book (Would I do this in front of God?; Is it really my responsibility?; Will this increase the integrity of the universe?) and take action accordingly.  It’s a process I have used for some time and it works for me.

Guidance

As I indicated yesterday, I generally get guidance for that day.  Today that guidance was to stay present and listen, meaning to pay attention to messages/nudges from spirit or intuition.  I had no clients today so in addition to daily activities like exercise and paying bills, I had numerous periods of meditation or contemplation.  As part of that I have been led to begin re-reading Black Elk Speaks.

Staying Present

I find myself anticipating the next chapter in the adventure that is my life.  I find it interesting that I truly enjoy my life as it is and at the same time I am ready to move on.  Any movement that happens is clearly not here yet, so I need to keep my focus on the present and my daily activities.  Right now I will go into a period of prayer and meditation, asking for guidance for the coming day,

Spiritual Growth

The publication of my book is a milestone for which I feel tremendous gratitude.  The gratitude is for the events leading up to the publication and for the knowledge and gifts encountered along the path.  I have experienced much spiritual growth in the past decades and, as I mentioned in a meeting a few days ago, much of that growth has “not been fun, easy or pleasant”.  Before entering on this path I anticipated that spiritual growth would be “a field of clover”.  In my case, I was wrong, though the end result has been wondrous beyond belief.