Ccommittment

Having made a decision to make the changes I have talked about the last few days, I have been marveling at how the universe is cooperating and encouraging us. I am reminded of the comments by W. H. Murray "that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way." Today it feels good "to be in the flow".

Self-care 2

Yesterday I wrote about having "strong, mixed, very human and extremely transient emotions" which were due to "my sister’s recent death, the probable approaching move to the east coast, changing careers and leaving people I love" and I spoke of several actions I was using to deal with the feelings, basically methods of allowing and encouraging the feelings. Today I was very aware that the feelings were not going away nearly as fast as I would like and that I was also feeling hyper-sensitive and needy. I realize that I need more meditation, contemplation time.

Self-care

I am experiencing strong, mixed, very human and extremely transient emotions, along with some amusement and enjoyment knowing that the feelings reflect my own attachments and that from an eternal perspective they are just a small piece of the puzzle. The feelings are due to my sister’s recent death, the probable approaching move to the east coast, changing careers and leaving people I love, all within the context of getting older and being disabled. I am experiencing anger, sadness, fear, feeling lost and groundless, all due to my attachments. I have been talking, meditating, expressing and writing about my feelings. I know that they are fine and I experience them and let them pass. The process is fun to watch!

Prayer

Today I felt a combination of lost and excited, mostly lost. I lead what would be called a "life of prayer", meaning I use a lot of prayer and meditation to seek guidance as to the right thing to do and act accordingly. At this time of change I am reminded of the words of Thomas H. Green, S.J.; "We become lost in a trackless desert — and then, if we persevere despite our disorientation, we begin to realize that it is only being lost, in losing ourselves, that we are found. The whole of our life and not just our prayer life, becomes a paradox, an apparent contradiction concealing and revealing a deeper truth, because we begin to realize that we must live as we pray" It is also an exciting time for me since I know I’m on the right path - but I do not know where it leads.

Fear Versus Love

I am working towards the spiritual revolution called for by His Holiness The Dalai Lama. How, I think, that will be accomplished is succinctly put by Williamson when she wrote "If you can rise above the fear in your life and live the love within you, and if I can rise above my fear and live the love in me-----if that drama is reenacted enough times by enough of the world’s people-----then we will pierce the cosmic darkness and tip the world in the direction of light.", simple but not easy.