Cherishing Life and Death

Many years ago, I was in a workshop partially presented by Larry Dossey, and he posed the question “If you only had one month to live what would you say to whom.......and why are you waiting”.  I have always remembered that and, partly as a result, I attempt to cherish every moment of my life, as if I could die at any moment, which is in fact true.  I attempt to embrace all aspects of my life, including the unpleasant ones and I pay particular attention to the love and connection in my relationships, even the brief encounters.  I hope to have the same level of acceptance when I am dead and have passed through to the other side.  I have to admit to being wary of the transition, the process of dying, which is likely to be tumultuous.

Distractions

It seems clear that while we are in physical form and on earth, that it is important to find out as much as we can about living in harmony with everything and, possibly, about the power of love in our lives.  I frequently find myself asking the question “would this matter if I was on my deathbed” and the answer is usually “no”.  In my pursuit of living in harmony I note that there are numerous, very enjoyable and engaging distractions that I encounter daily.  Things like having a certain type of car, the latest technology or a high-paying, powerful job.  It is fun and harmless  to engage in the distractions but it is also important for me to realize that they are essentially meaningless, by themselves.

Connection

Recently, I have been very aware of the strength and depth of the connections I make, especially with my clients and other people I contact.  As far as I can tell my connection involves joining with the energy field (feelings not thoughts) they each project and using, what I call, deep listening, meaning listening beyond the surface language, and paying attention to their feelings as well.  In order to accomplish that connection, it is necessary to approach the interaction with love and compassion, having let go of ego, attachments, desires and judgments.  Thus, it is necessary for me to meditate and maintain a strong spiritual balance.

Difficult Times

A couple of my friends are having difficult times, a situation that used to bother me and make me angry, but no longer does, since I take a broader, more long-term view.  My present view began by taking a look at the difficult times in my own life and realizing that they were also the periods when I experienced the most growth.  I then read comments like those of deCastillejo: "Some course of action which seems so clearly to be leading to disaster may contain a twist of fate which lifts it to success.  That accident whose cause was so apparent may have had an inner meaning we cannot see.......We simply do not know.  Scientists discover and theologians affirm; but faced with the mystery of life and death we know almost nothing."  Gradually, I began to realize that there was always a benefit to difficult times.
My position on experiencing difficult times is also helped by the realization that the death of the physical body was not the big deal I thought it was.  I agree with the Dalai Lama when he said “I tend to think of death as being like changing your clothes when they are old and worn out, rather than as some final end.”

Awakening

I just finished reading the book The Center Of The Wheel by R. Hudson, a very enjoyable reading experience.  He, and a number of others who write and speak more charismatically than I do, express many of the “knowings” pointed out by mystics and spiritual leaders for centuries.  It is wonderful to watch and be a part of people “waking up” to ideas like oneness, connectedness, the power of love, the importance of detachment or simple awareness.  The process of emotional and spiritual growth (in some cases, returning to the view of a small child!), is a miraculous experience. Those ideas can change the way people relate to each other, other living things and this planet.

Honesty

I work with many people to help them change, sometimes as a mental health therapist, sometimes a friend or mentor.  I cannot make anyone change but I can point the direction by observing the life patterns that make them uncomfortable and suggesting alternative behaviors.  I strive to use a loving, long-term or even an eternal perspective and approach, avoiding ego, attachments and desires.  Using that perspective, it is apparent that, ultimately, all events lead to knowing/sensing one-ness and living within love.  Therefore, I am not willing to assign a “good” or “bad” label to any event.  Some events like suicide, cancer, drug use, falling in love or being of service to others are definitely either pleasant or unpleasant, but not good or bad, they simply are.  In order to respect the individual paths of the individuals whose lives I touch, I try to be honest and make suggestions.