Listening

Today was a day of connecting with others, enjoyable, fulfilling and exhausting.  I employed my “deep listening” skills and was very respectful, understanding and compassionate with each of the people I met with.  I can readily see why people often utilize “distracted listening”, since this approach was a lot of work and required a good deal of focus, while distracted listening does not.  The approach I used was also extremely fulfilling and definitely “increased the integrity of the universe”.

Connection

Last night I led and participated in our monthly men’s group and this afternoon we had our last of six Friend’s (Quaker) writing group, which I participate in.  Each are small, very intimate groups with intense and profound connections.  That level of connection can be modeled and encouraged by the leadership, but ultimately relies on the participants.  I am reminded of the words of deCastillejo from Knowing Woman when she wrote "For there to be a meeting, it seems as though a third, a something else, is always present.  You may call it Love, or the Holy Spirit.  Jungians would say that it is the presence of the Self.  If this 'Other' is present, there cannot have failed to be a meeting."  That sort of group is a sacred occurrence.

Feeling The Feelings

Right now, I just feel loving and strongly connected, wonderful.  Earlier today I was falsely accused, then very angry and finally amused, due to my own anger at a person being them self.  We had a men’s group tonight and I spoke of the anger and that, of course, helped it to pass.  The whole process was a good example of being open to my feelings, talking about them and letting them pass, something I have, historically, not been good at, especially with anger.

Bubble Of Love

Yesterday, I spoke of the possibility of my own doubts and fears holding me back, a real possibility.  I did not yield to those doubts and fears yesterday and I will not today, a decision that feels very good and firm.  I am a very human voice for the importance of that power or force of love and God.  That power has changed my life and as I mentioned in the recovery meeting today, I now “walk in a bubble of love”, an incredible experience.

Fear

Once again today, I submitted a variety of my own writing for publication in the Friend’s (Quaker) newsletter.  Also, once again, I am experiencing all sorts of doubts and fears about what I have done.  My submission is a personal effort to push myself to be “out there” more, to increase my exposure.  As usual, I wrote about the importance and value of spirituality and love in my life, a message I would like others to hear and incorporate, in there own way.  Ironically, I also write about how fear tends to hold us back from being the people we could be.  The fear certainly does that in my case, if I listen to it!

Letting Things Go

Today I had a very strong sense that I was doing well but that I was involved in events with others that had some significance beyond this simple life, events that had some eternal significance.  Also that I need not even try to understand beyond that knowledge, that it was important to just do my part and then let it go.  As Maria said today, there is considerable relief in that knowledge.  I continue to “play my piano & sing my little song”, the rest is not up to me!  Life is good.

Guidance

I find it both wonderful and strange that I now rely on mystical guidance and my own intuition to determine the majority of my actions during the day.  I rely very heavily on my connection and now firmly understand the comment by Hazrat Inayat about the life of the mystic; ‘The whole life of the mystic is mapped on this principle... a voice from within that tells him “go here,” “go there,” or “leave”... Therefore, while others are prepared to explain why they are doing something... the mystic cannot explain, because he himself does not know.  The one who knows little, knows most; and those who seem to know more, know the least.’ The fact is that I now know enough to realize that I know next to nothing, and act accordingly.