Balance

I use my intellect for many things, but also strive to recognize its limitations.  I also surround myself with love and faith, using my intuition.  The combination of the two approaches feels complete, though difficult.  The combination of the two approaches certainly provides a more valid picture of reality.  At times, like today, in spite of my efforts, I am still full of doubts about the validity of my observations and decision making, in part because they are radicle or at least unusual.  During most of the time, I feel confident.  It seems important that I continue to inspect my observations and ideas, being ready to discard the ones that don’t work.

Beyond Earthly III

I have experienced numerous events that go well beyond conventional beliefs, the events I have just written about, non-surgical healings, being jerked out of the space/time continuum, etc.  These events make it clear to me that there is more to reality than I/we think. These, or similar events occur when I access and harmonize myself, through prayer and meditation, with that power/force that I call God or love.  I need not understand, define or analyze that power, as science or intellect would have me do.

Beyond Earthly II

Yesterday I spoke of the “beyond earthly” connection I experienced with my father when he had advanced Alzheimer’s.  What I meant was that the connection and his knowing certain things about my life could not be explained using conventional beliefs.  He apparently knew that I was taking risks and exploring options in my life, but did not recognize me as his son.  In other words, he knew me at a deep spiritual level but not our earthly relationship.   I also spoke of a strong feeling of love and “presence” during our connection.  The feeling was that we were each elevated to some sort of spiritual plane and that neither of us were in control of what was happening, that there was some sort of divine assistance.  He also clearly recognized when the connection stopped, as did I.

Beyond Earthly

During one scene in the movie “God’s Not Dead” a woman with advanced Alzheimer’s speaks clearly and cogently, something she was physically not capable of, according to the medical model and/or science.  That scene struck me since the situation it depicted actually happened to me.  In my case, my father was living in an assisted living facility and had advanced Alzheimer’s.  He could not speak using complete thoughts or sentences and certainly did not recognize me as his biological son.  I went to visit him and we made a very strong, spiritual (beyond earthly) connection.  Within that connection he communicated that he had lived his whole life staying in the protection of  “the harbor”, and the importance of taking the risks of the “open ocean”, in each case using analogy and complex thought.  Within our connection, he also acknowledged that I was living my life in the open ocean, so he obviously knew about me though he still did not know that I was his biological son.  When our connection ended, which I sensed, he looked at me and said “it’s stopped” and I replied “yes it has”.  He then asked “What do we do now” and I simply suggested that we each continue with our day.  There was a very strong feeling of unconditional love and a “presence” during our connection.

A Loving God

I went to the movie “God’s Not Dead” today and found that the movie did a very good job of depicting the joy of encountering a loving God and it also did a reasonable job of addressing questions such as why God would allow such earthly problems as Alzheimer’s, premature death and cancer.  However, the movie was also a bit to strongly Christian for my tastes, emphasizing the importance of believing in a certain way and that it is possible for God to be disturbed in some way by free will and some of the choices we humans make.  Basically, giving God some human characteristics.  The God that I have encountered is an unconditionally loving force/power that seems to observe and appreciate the choices that we make in much the same way that a loving parent would do with a child.  Personally, I have made several negative choices with no hint of disturbing God in any way.

Sides Of The Same Coin

My life as a human is a wonderful and terrible thing, all at the same time, and it is best for me to acknowledge both sides, sides of the same coin.  Life is full of conflicts and dualities of all kinds, which I can fully appreciate through open, mindful meditation.  I am frequently reminded of the eloquent words of M. Beattie, from The Lessons of Love, writing about life, that "It's about swallowing pride and fear and having the guts and the tenacity to have faith when we've been stripped of naivete and shaken to the core---and when we know too well that life isn't just mysterious and unpredictable, it can be unbearably cruel and breathtakingly wondrous, sometimes at the same time." On one hand, the pain, suffering and confusion caused by the advent of my disability were terrible, resulting in not caring about staying alive.  On the other hand, that period of my life was the greatest gift I have been given, resulting in a much greater connection with God and an appreciation for life, in general.

Eternal Viewpoint

Whether a person is a Buddhist talking about dealing with karma or someone like me, talking about soul growth, overcoming personal difficulties is a major part of life.  Life events like the day to day drama, disabilities, life threatening illnesses or seemingly tragic events can, potentially, result in significant growth or changes in attitude.  The positive effects are much easier to see if one takes a long term or eternal perspective.  For this reason, these events, in addition to being painfully endured, can be recognized for their positive effects.  In my life, various unpleasant events, painful and difficult at the time, have certainly resulted in greater compassion and understanding.