Acting Out of Love

Today I noted my tendency to take the safest, protective action, a reaction to fear, rather than, the more risky, honest & love based approach.  In this case, I could follow the prevailing view, which would be safe, or follow what I believe to be the more honest and comprehensive approach.  I am reminded of the words of Williamson, when she said “We were taught to think thoughts like competition, struggle, sickness, finite resources, limitation, guilt, bad, death, scarcity, and loss. We began to think these things, and so we began to know them.........We were taught to see the world the way that others had come to see it. It’s as though, as soon as we got here, we were given a sleeping pill. The thinking of the world, which is not based on love, began pounding in our ears the moment we hit shore.”

Presence

Today was a day of love, connection and gratitude, very suitable for the first day of the new year.  As far as love and connection; I met with a newly recovering addict/client, went to a recovery meeting and had very fulfilling interactions with my wife.  With each event I could feel the love and connection, wonderful.  In terms of gratitude; I reflected on the beauty of the fresh snow and how much more pleasant my life is now, versus some past times.  Like Maria commented, “it could be a lot worse”.  In all cases I was simply present.

Neither Black Nor White

The snow has been falling all day in Flagstaff, sometimes heavily, sometimes not, resulting in around a foot of accumulation.  The snow is quite beautiful, pure, silent and gentle as it falls and accumulates.  The snow is also hard and unforgiving, requiring an increase in our work and adaptation.  Like much of nature, the results are mixed.  To me, part of being awake and aware is witnessing and appreciating the “mix” of any situation, embracing the whole.  In the past, I attempted to see only part of the mix, depending on my mood.  However, that was not realty.

The Impact of Love

In 1993, when I was completing my masters in social work, I commented to one of my professors that they had taught me many fine tools and, with the addition of love, they all worked very well, without that addition none of them did.  Tonight I was reading in “National Geographic” about brain development in infants and it is clear that the same applies.  Love, connection and nurturing, though non-physical, has a very real and physical impact on  development.  Love, connection and nurturing also, except in a very simplistic way, do not fit within the paradigm of scientific studies or the experimental method.  However, they are very real, we just cannot understand them in that way.

Fear, the Illusion

This was another day where I could watch myself very clearly flip-flopping back and forth between fear and love.  My fears basically surround the publication of a book I just wrote, but if I allow it, the fears spread to other aspects of my life.  The fears, which I know to be illusory, tells me things like “I need to talk to so and so” or that “I need to take some sort of action”.  The fact is that if I take those actions, I am “feeding” the fear and it becomes more intense.  On the other hand, if I meditate and achieve a loving state of mind, I know that everything is as it should be and that I need take no action at this time.

Simplicity

Once again, the Friends (Quaker) meeting was about the simplicity of love.  During the day today, I have also had several interactions with the same theme.  As I have commented many times today, we humans are very good at complicating our love with desires, attachments, dependency and materialism.  Leading a simple life and using the three questions (Would I do this in front of God; Is this really my responsibility; Will this increase the integrity of the universe) keeps me on track.

Focus on Love & Being of Service

I found myself saying today that I am a physical mess and that I don’t care, then I quickly amended that statement by admitting that it was an “inconvenience”.  The fact is that I am getting older, am disabled and have a speech impediment, all of which dramatically effect my life.  On the one hand, I spend a large portion of my life performing activities to minimize the impact of these inconveniences, therapeutic exercising and such.  I also recall that in 1988 I was working on learning how to crawl in physical therapy and just beginning to attempt moving and walking without the assistance of crutches, so I am grateful for the abilities that I have.  The main reason that my thoughts are not consumed with obsessing or worrying about my limitations is my focus on love, being of service and eternity.