Being Present

Today was another day when the river of my life was flowing very fast and I had little to no down time between pretty intense activities, such as talking to people about death and dying.  I was very aware of simply doing my best and staying present.  Additionally, I did take note of the fact that my doctor performed two skin biopsies on me a few days ago and that action did not seem important to me.  I feel very involved in my life and being present and I don’t fear death.

Going With The Flow

A very busy day, including this evening, with little to no down time between pretty intense activities.  During days like this it is very important that I not resist the flow of life.  If I do resist I feel the stress, get tense and then get tired.  Some of the words from the 2000 Hopi prophesy come to mind “There is a river flowing now very fast.  It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.  They will try to hold onto the shore.  They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.”

Day-to-Day

I spent a good part of my day in the kitchen, preparing food, something I care about and do a lot.  I am reminded of the comment by Jack Kornfield “First the ecstasy then the laundry”.  I experience the ecstasy each morning when I pray and meditate, asking for guidance for the coming day.  I also find that if I focus on the privilege of being able to do things like cooking, then I can experience at least gratitude when performing those, very necessary but often mundane and tedious, activities.

Growth

It appears to me that guilt, shame, fear and judgment are part of the human experience.  I have not encountered those feelings with God or the Absolute, only love, compassion, understanding and inclusiveness.  Overcoming guilt, shame, fear and negative judgments promote growth within humanity.  Not overcoming guilt, shame, fear and negative judgments can block growth, something that happened to me, for part of my life.  I have grown as a result of love, compassion, understanding and inclusiveness.

Alternative Medicine

I went to my P.C.P. today for a follow up review of my annual physical, usually a neutral or even slightly troublesome experience, since, historically, my views have differed from the views of traditional medicine.  This turned out to be a very positive visit since she has had a life-long interest in the type of mind-body, meditative healing I have been doing for several years.  She probably knows a great deal more than I, from a medical perspective.  I think this is the first time, in my experience, that someone in the medical community had similar interests and recognized the importance of love, compassion, forgiveness and spirituality for health and healing.

Life on Life's Terms

Maria, my wife, and I went to a play today and, as usually happens when I go to a crowded, handicapped unfriendly location, I became very aware of the limitations placed on me by my disability.  The play, The Full Monty”, was very enjoyable, the conditions were not.  Today ends up being one of those days that I do not enjoy the physical reality of being me very much.  It’s important for me to acknowledge the feelings, love that part and let it pass.

A Change of Focus

An enjoyable and fulfilling day of several periods of loving connections with groups and individuals, some very brief and some of longer duration.  It’s hard to imagine or remember, but I used to be very focused on my own immediate gratification and did not care about anyone else, beyond satisfying my own perceived needs.  My main concentration was also on my personal “money, power and prestige”, rather than the welfare of everything and everyone on this planet.  I was doing my best, what I was told and certainly did not realize that I was harming myself in the process.  My life today is definitely not self-focused and seems to be a win-win situation.