Search for Meaning

I spent much of my earlier life, before recovery and becoming disabled, trying to find a sense of meaning, wholeness and peace in external, often material things.  My searching never resulted in anything other than short term gratification and the accumulation of meaningless stuff. Then, as I had those things stripped away from me or I chose to give them up.  I did not realize it at the time but I stopped searching and began working on being.  What I was looking for was there all the time  — I just needed to stop looking for it and be with it.  “An Indian says you search, in vain, for what you cannot find.  He says you find a thousand ways of runnin down your time.  He didn’t scream it, he said it in a song and he’s never been known to be wrong.” (from the movie “Jeremiah Johnson”)