Between 1988 and 1992 I went through what I now recognize as the “Dark Night of the soul”. It was a period during which everything on the physical/material plane was either taken away or gave me no solace and I still had no meaningful connection with God. It was a period of transition from intellectual to heart connection coupled with a transition from a reliance/ dependence on material things to non-material. The things like intellect, money, power, prestige and physical ability were all stripped away or had no meaning, in large part due to the recent onset of my disability. I became despondent and felt totally lost. I did try to kill myself during that period, but was prevented from doing so by the power I was trying to connect with. I had no teacher to guide me at that point, so it took several years for me to make the transition, but I gradually turned away from my dependence on things of the physical plane and developed a true, heart connection with God. Having gone through the dark night and made the transition, my life and connection are truly wonderful, and I now know it was well worth it.
When I speak of a transition between an intellectual to a heart centered connection with God, I am referring to a switch from believing in the presence of that force, to knowing of it, or from thinking about God to feeling the presence of that entity. I had been accustomed to using things like knowledge and information during most of my life. Without the assistance of a teacher, the transition to using feeling and knowing rather than knowledge, took several years.
